


No Escape From The Storm Inside

by SongsofPsyche



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: After chapter 7 in gets really dark, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Camelot, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intervention, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, SO SORRY, Self Harm, True Love, really really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongsofPsyche/pseuds/SongsofPsyche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They knew something was wrong the minute Killian stumbled through the door. He was covered in dirt, and his hair was mattered with mud and leaves. Usually, this disheveled state was normal for the pirate but what was unsettling was that Hook was quiet. </p>
<p>Who hurt him and why?</p>
<p>Will he ever recover?</p>
<p>What secrets is Killian hiding from them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This is also on fanfiction.net, but let me tell you that one is HORRIBLE. It's riddled with typos and mistakes and loopholes and just plain awful. I wrote it waaaaaaayyyyy back in the day before I really knew how to write so I am rewriting it on here.
> 
> 2) This takes place in season 3, right after Hook and Emma got back to Storybrooke through the portal. I am changing things around though, as not to spoil anything for those who are not caught up with the series.

Emma sat down at the table at the end of Granny's Dinner, feeling exhausted from a day of grueling busy work. Now that the Wicked Witch was gone, and David had rehired her as sheriff, she had a ton of paperwork to file at the station. Henry was at Regina's for the night, Hook was off…somewhere, probably doing something piratey, and Mary Margaret was home with the baby. This was the first night she had to herself in quite a while, and she was surprisingly excited to eat her lasagna in peace.

David sat down across from her with a cup of coffee and he her a small smile.

"Evening Emma." he said kindly

Emma nodded back with a little smirk, "Evening, your majesty."

David shook his head and chuckled, "Emma, will you quit with that. I'm your dad."

"That sounds even worse."

"Worse than your boss? Have you seen Hook? I wanted to ask him about that spell the wicked witch cast on him."

Emma shook her head, "Come to think of it, I haven't seen him all evening."

"He will always be a bumbling vagabond. Are you going to look for him after this?"

Emma laughed, and felt glad that she wasnt the only one who thought of Killian as a little too adventurous.

"He's a big boy, he can rescue himself. How was-"

But she never finished her sentence, as she was cut off by the main door of Granny's Diner opening. They knew something was wrong the minute Killian stumbled through the door. He was covered in dirt, and his hair was mattered with mud and leaves. Usually, this disheveled state was normal for the pirate but was was unsettling was that Hook was quiet. He stood there in the doorway with an empty look on his face and a tremble on his lips. When he finally spoke, it was a mumbled stutter;

"I-I need to w-wash up-"

And they he started walking no-limping towards his room, the room that he stilled slept in even though Emma had offered him a place at her home.

"Killian-?" David started, concerned for his friend, but Hook didnt stop. Emma exchanged a nervous glace with David as Hook disappeared into up the stairs that led to Granny's Inn. What was going on?

After a few moments of dense silence, David finally stood, Emma looked up at him.

"I'm going to see if he's okay" David said quietly. Emma nodded, but stayed where she was. She had a feeling that Hook did not want to be crowded right now. She watched Davidran up the stairs and waited, for a sound, or a voice, something that said her friend was okay. There was nothing but silence.

Emma tapped her fingers against the table, there was something about the way Hook looked that troubled her. And the fact that he barely said a word. Usually Hook never stopped talking, what had happened?

Emma jumped a little when the heard the backdoor open. She looked up and saw David step into the room, a grim look on his face.

"Is everything okay?" Emma asked

David started to shake his head, but then he stopped himself and shrugged.

"I don't know, Emma." he said quietly in a tone that made Emma shiver.

"Did he tell you what-"

"Can you go grab some of his clothes? I think they are still in the dryer downstairs." David interrupted.

Emma paused, but then nodded and stood up. Hook actually did laundry?

"What's going-"

"Just go. I'll tell you later."

Emma nodded, and stood up, feeling slightly hurt that David wouldn't tell her what was going on.

When Emma returned from grabbing Hook's clothes, she walked straight up to the pirate's room and knocked softly. She heard a quiet gasp, and then David's whispered assurances; "it's only Emma, with your clothes. It's alright, no one is going to hurt you." and then the door opened a notch and David's head poked out. Emma smelled soapy water as it wafted out, and heard the splashing of the water, but Hook was silent.

"Here are his clothes." Emma said softly, "Is everything okay? What's going on?" she asked again.

"Everything will be fine. He can't stay here by himself though. I'm going to let him stay in our guest room, and let him rest until we get this all sorted out." David said, his tone grim and serious. Emma nodded and handed him the bundle.

" Does he need the hospital? What else can I do?" he asked

"He won't go. He says he just needs to rest and he'll be fine."

"And you believe that?"

David shrugged, and then said. "Coult you wait here with him.? I'm going to help him get dressed, and then go talk to Snow and get the room ready. Can you sit with him while I go?" he asked.

Emma nodded, "Sure, no problem."

And David shut the door again.

Emma paused in the hallway, unsure of what to do, unsure if she should be listening to the whispers coming through the door. Finally, after what seemed like ages, David emerged and closed the door behind him.

"Emma?" he asked, beaconing her towards him.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to go get things sorted out. Can you sit with him until I get back?" David paused, then took a deep breathe, "Emma, I'm not sure-he's a little freaked out-he doesn't want to be touched, just-just be there for him, okay?" he asked with a pained expression on his face.

David gripped her shoulder in what seemed to be a reassuring way, but Emma could feel his fingernails digging into his skin. Emma just nodded, still confused about what was going on.

"Did he tell you-?" he started to ask, but David shook his head.

"He hasn't said a word-i think he's in shock. He needs a quiet place to rest, then I think he'll get better." David explained.

Emma nodded again, "okay."

David gave his shoulder another squeeze and then turned away, jogging towards the stairs.

Emma waited until his footsteps faded to knock softly on the door.

" Hook?—-Killian?" She asked softly, "It's Emma, may I come in?"

Emma paused, but she didn't hear an answer. She opened the door quietly and stepped in. The hotel was empty, but the bathroom door was a jar. She opened it, and was met with a sorrowful sight;

Hook was sitting with his back against the wall, knees tucked up against his chest, his wet hair lank against his face. He did not look up when Emma entered, or do anything at all except hunch his shoulders in, making his appear smaller than he seemed.

Emma felt lost at what to do. Hook was so different, so still and quiet. It scared scared, but she also felt a rush of anger. Whomever did this to her friend was going to pay. She let a breath out, and then walked over and kneeled next to him. Now she could see that most of the dirt on his face was actually bruises, like someone had beaten him badly.

Emma did not miss the shudder, or how Hook leaned away from her.

"Killian?" Emma asked again, she gently put his hand on his friend's knee.

"Everything is going to be okay." she said, trying to be reassuring, but then she felt Hook flinch under her touch so she moved her hand away.

Emma sighed, then leaned back against the tub, mindfully aware of the distance between them. She could see Hook was shaking but trying hard not to show it. What _had_ happened? To make him so scared? Hook seemed incredibly small in the baggy nightclothes he wore. It was so unlike him, to be small and quiet. He seemed to be battling with something internally. He kept shuddering and shaking his head, unaware of where he was, or whom he was sitting with. Emma sensed that he was drifting farther and farther away, and she had no idea how to bring him back.

_But I have to try._ Emma thought.

"Killian?" she said, and when her friend didn't respond she said it again.

"Everything is going to be okay. You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you. Killian? Look at me." Emma asked. Killian froze, but after a few moments he looked up. Their eyes met for a split second and then Killian looked away.

Emma sighed. "whatever happened, you can tell me. Im not just the savior or whatever, I'm also your friend, no matter what." she said gently, eyes never leaving his friend's face. Hook nodded his head slightly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. He let out a shaky breathe and then another one. Emma smiled a little but she didn't want to say anything to break this sudden change in atmosphere. Hook seemed less tense now, than before. And Emma realized that they didn't need words to be comfortable with each other. She felt a sudden surge of confidence, whatever this was, whatever was ailing his friend, they could fix it.

They both jumped when David knocked on the door, and the comfortable spell that was between them broke. Hook shuddered again and lowered his head. Emma stood up and opened the door.

David smiled slightly when he say him. "How's everything going?" he asked softly. Emma just shrugged. "It's going, I guess."

"Good. can you- can you help-lets bring him over?" David asked awkwardly.

Emma nodded, then opened the door wider. She turned to her friend, walked over and kneeled down next to him.

"Killian?" David's here. Lets get you to bed. He's going to take you to his house. Everything will be better in the morning, I promise."

Killian nodded slowly without opening his eyes. Emma stood, then backed up, giving Killian room to stand on his own. Hook winced slightly as he pushed himself up to standing, he clutched his right side with his left arm and swayed a little.

"Whoa, you're okay?" Emma asked , reaching out to steady her friend. Hook's eyes flashed opened and he flinched away from Emma's touch. Emma immediately withdrew her hand.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." she whispered, and took a few steps back. It was only was when she had given Hook enough space did he move on his own, towards the door. Emma noticed that he was limping slightly and exchanged a concerned look with David before he opened the door wider and gestured for them to follow him.

The walk down to the Charming's residence was long and silent. The only sounds were from the shuffle of their shoes, and the occasional sniff from Hook-the loudest sound he had made since they found him. No one talked, or laughed and it was so unsettling to Emma, she had to think that this was a dream. Some crazy plan that Regina had come up with, or another scheme of Rumplestilskin, who had never truly gotten over his vengeance for Hook.

But then Emma saw the real pain in Hook's carefully masked face, the tremor of his hand as it fidgeted with his sleeve, and the limp in his walk and Emma knew that this was no dream. This was real, a real person had attacked her friend and Emma honestly had no idea what to do next.

They got to the rooms quickly enough. No one had stopped them in the streets or asked any questions. _One of the advantages of being with the crown prince of Storeybrooke, right?_ Emma thought sullenly. David opened the door for them and they followed him in to the guest bedroom.

Hook limped over to the bed, but didn't sit. He looked around a little, and then back down at his feet. He seemed to be thinking things over. Emma couldn't help but look around the room. This had been her bedroom when she had roomed with Mary Margaret, before the curse had been broken.

"Killian?" David asked, Killian jumped but then looked up towards him.

"You can rest now. We'll figure everything else out in the morning. It will get better, I promise." David told him, gesturing towards the bed.

Killian nodded, and then sat down.

"Emma and I will be right outside, if you need anything." David continued, giving a nod to Emma's confused stare. Emma then realized that David intended to keep her here with them tonight and felt grateful for her dad. He knew how close she was with Hook, and how much she cared about him. Hook nodded again, and then laid down, favoring his left side. He let out a shaky breathe and closed his eyes.

Emma tapped the bed gently with her hand.

"Try to get some rest, Hook. We'll see you in the morning." She said quietly and then he followed David out, closing the door softly behind her.

888


	2. Chapter 2

Emma barely slept that night. The haunted look in Hook's eyes kept looming into her dreams. When morning finally came, Emma felt even more exhausted then she had been the night before. She wondered what would happen, now that it was morning. Would Hook tell them what happened? Would he tell them anything at all?

Emma sighed, then sat up slowly in the pull away bed. The Charming's bedroom had be renovated since she had last lived there, and it definitely screamed "new parents". She wondered how they were doing with little baby Neal. Emma turned to her left and saw David laying on his bed, but he was awake, Emma could see the glint of his eyes as he looked around the ceiling, deep in thought. Emma once again wondered what David had seen, and for his desecration.

Emma cleared his throat, and David startled.

"Ah! You scared me! Did you sleep well?" he asked, sitting up in his bed. Emma nodded, "You're living the life, David. I could get used to this." she said with a smile, sitting up in her bed.

David shrugged, he was always so modest about everything. He stood up, stretched, and then folded down the blankets on his bed. Emma, following his lead, did the same. She straightened out her clothes and then started shifting around for her boots. Once she found them, she stood back up and looked at David.

"Killian?" She asked softly.

David nodded, a sullen expression on his face.

"Did he say anything to you last night?" he asked.

Emma shook his head. "Not a word. Did he tell you anything?"

David shook his head, "No but his injuries spoke for themselves. Someone beat him-badly. He had bruises everywhere and I think-I think—" David paused, a pained expression on his face.

"What?" Emma asked

But David shook his head,

"Nothing, its nothing, just-I've never seen anyone so scared, Emma. He wouldn't let me touch him at all, and he wouldn't say anything. Something happened to him, something bad. I want to find out who-or what did this to his so we can make it right."

Emma nodded in agreement, "Yeah, me too. I want to catch the creep who did this and...and teach him a lesson!"

David laughed a little, " Don't worry, I'll help you. Who do you think did it? Mr. Gold? Not Regina…?" he asked

Emma thought for a sec, but then shook her head, "No, I don't think either of them have enough courage in them. This looks like the work of something human. If it were magic, I would have felt it."

Even though Emma didn't say it out loud, deep down she had an idea to what had happened to her friend. After being on the streets for 28 years, things like assaults were easy to identify. And by the way Hook was acting, she had an inkling that it was just that.

Killian was still in bed when David knocked and opened the door, but his eyes were open. When he saw them, he shuddered slightly and pulled the covers tightly around his arms with his good hand. Emma saw the gleam of his hook on the nightstand, he must have taken it off himself during the night. She hesitated at the door. Did Killian really want this right now? Even from a distance Emma saw the paleness of his face, and the tear tracks that stained his cheeks.

"Hey Killian" Emma said softly, touching the bed with her hand. David walked past her and kneeled down so he was eye level with Hook.

"Hook? Killian?" he asked in a soft voice, he waited until Hook was looking at him, and then continued.

"How're you doing? Are you feeling better?" David asked. Hook shrugged his shoulders and then pushed himself up to sitting, wincing slightly. He clutched his right side and pulled his knees up to his chest and shuddered, and then he closed his eyes.

Emma gently sat down at the foot of the bed. She wanted to help, but he wasn't sure how to.

Hook took a couple of deep breathes, then opened his eyes again. He let out a little sigh, then gave a slight nod.

"Are you ready to tell us who did this to you?" David asked, in the same gentle voice.

Killian shifted and then winced again. He looks up at Emma, their eyes meeting for a second and then he glanced away with a slight shake of his head. Emma suddenly knew what Hook was telling them; he wasn't ready to talk, not now, maybe not ever. As much as Emma wanted to know what happened so they could catch the guy that did this, Emma knew that they had to wait until Hook was ready.

"It's okay, you can tell us when you're ready." Emma said softly, and then asked "Are you hungry? We should get some breakfast."

"And a Doctor. Can you tell us what hurts? We don't want your injuries to go unattended." David added in.

Hook shrugged his shoulders, then winced and clutched his right side.

"Doctor first?" David asked, looking at Emma.

"Doctor first." Emma confirmed.

David stood. "I'll go get the Dr. Whale, he should be up by now. Can you-?"

"I'll stay" Emma finished for him, and David smiled.

"I'll be back. Don't go anywhere." he said, and then he trotted out the door, closing it softly behind he was gone, Emma sighed a little, then turned to Hook.

"You know I'll always be here for you, right?" Emma asked gently. Killian gave her a small smile and nodded.

"I want to make sure you are safe, and that we catch whomever did this to you so he can be judged for what he did. I know it's probably the last thing you want to think about, but can you try to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" Emma asked, trying to make sure her voice remained soft so she wouldn't scare Hook.

Killian lowered his head and clenched his hand into a fist. He shuddered slightly then shook his head again. He wasn't ready, Emma could tell that.

"I’m sorry, Killian. I was being pushy. It's okay, you don't have to tell me right now. I promise I won't pry again." Emma added, hoping to calm him. But Killian seemed to be lost in his memories of last night. His hand came up, and his fingers tangled into his hair.

"No no no no no no, stop, please stop. No no no."

Emma heard it as a bare whisper. He looked at Killian, trying to fathom who could have scared his so badly that the mere memory of him triggered-whatever this reaction was. Emma had never seen anyone so scared-traumatized. She didn't know what to do, or how to fix it. David seemed so much better at but then again, he was _David_ , he could do no wrong..

"Hook? Killian I'm sorry. Please, please stop. It's okay, you're safe now." Emma pleaded, but Killian ignored her. Emma scooted closer to her friend, who in turn flinched away from her. Emma wanted to grab hold of Killian, to embrace him and tell his everything was going to be okay but she couldn't; Killian wouldn't let anyone touch him.

Emma quickly grabbed the hand that was pulling at Killian's hair.

"Please don't do that." she asked softly, and she felt it tremble and shake underneath her firm grasp.

Killian froze, then finally looked up at her.

"Emma?" he asked in a small whisper.

Emma smiled, "Yes, yes it's me. You're safe now." she said, then Killian's face crumbled and he tried to twist his wrist away from Emma's hands but she didn't let go.

"It won't stop. He won't stop. Please please, make them stop." Killian pleaded in the same desperate voice, his eyes rimming with tears.

"Make who stop? Who did this?" Emma asked, but Killian only shuddered and flinched his head away.

"I promise it will stop. I will make it stop. We will fix this." Emma said softly. Her vision went blurry as her eyes filled with tears, she hated seeing Killian like this, Killian was usually so proud and composed, eyes always full of mischief and laughter. It made her heart ache to see him in such a state. She would anything to make things right again, to have them go back to where they were smiling and laughing again.

"Stop, stop. No, no no no no no." the mantra continued from the vicinity of Killian's knees. Emma brought her hands, still holding her friends wrist and squeezed it gently.

"I'll make them stop. I promise." she repeated. And then finally-finally Killian reached for her. He grabbed Emma's shirt collar and pulled her in close, bowing his head down into her chest.

"It was….Ru…Rub…. _him._ He came at me with his fire and his gleaming eyes. And he never stops, _never stops._ He’s in my head, pushing and stomping and hurting. He won’t stop. Why won’t he stop?” Killian muttered softly, shaking his head back and forth, his eyes seeing demons only they could see.

Emma let go of Killian's wrist and gently patted his back, she felt him tense but he didn't flinch away from her touch.

" You're safe now. Far away from him, he won't ever hurt you again. I promise." Emma told him softly.

There was a soft knock on the door; David had returned with the doctor. Immediately Hook stiffened, and he moved away, out of Emma's grasp. Emma let him, not wanting to startle him any further.

"It's okay, it's just David and Dr. Whale." she told Killian, and then she turned towards the door.

"Come in." Emma called softly. She felt Killian shudder under the covers.

David came though the door, followed by Dr. Whale. He greeted them with a soft "Good morning" and smiled.

"David has informed me on what has happened, I will try my best to make sure you're comfortable." He said, mainly to Killian, who nodded but didn't look up.

David tapped on the bed lightly.

"Would you like us to step outside?" he asked. Killian looked up, eyes lighting on David, Emma and then the doctor before he nodded. David frowned, but stepped back respectfully.

"Alright. We will be in the next room if you need us." He said and then gestured for Emma to follow him outside. Emma stood up and put a hand on Dr. Whale's shoulder,

"Thank you." she said softly, and then followed David out the door.

Once they were in the hallway, David turned to Emma, his brow furrowed in worry.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" David asked

Emma nodded, "After some time, yes. He's really scared, David. We have to find out who did this to him." she said.

"Did he say anything to you while I was gone?" David asked as they walked towards the living room.

"He didn't say much, but-"

David stopped and turned around, eyes glinting in the morning light.

"He spoke to you?"

Emma nodded, "Yeah, he did but it all garbled. He wasn’t making much sense."

"What did he say?"

"It was-I don't know- he was coming out of a trance. He recognized me, finally looked me in the eye but then something came over him. He started pulling his hair, and he kept asking me to make it stop, to make him stop. But that was it, that's all he said. He wouldn’t tell me who “him” was." Emma answered honestly, looking up at David.

David nodded, "Don't worry, Emma. We'll figure this out. We’ll find out who did this." he said as he sat down on the couch and fumbled with an orange he had picked up on the breakfast table.

"I wonder why he wanted us to leave." Emma asked as she picked at her breakfast. "Doesn't he trust us?"

David shrugged, "I don't know, Emma. Everything seems different now."

"What are we going to do?"

"Wait, I guess. And keep watch, and be there for him. That’s all we can do." David answered, a sad look in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a few moments, picking at the breakfast that had been brought to them.

Emma sighed, "Where's Snow?" She asked.

"She took the baby to Granny's. She thought we needed some privacy."

"That's good—"

But she was cut off by Dr. Whale re-emerging from Hook's room, his heavy bag hanging from his shoulder.

"How is he?" David asked, as he pulled over a chair for the doctor to sit. He declined it, but set his bag down at his feet.

"Do you know who his attacker was?" he asked

David shook his head, "No, we don't know anything. He hasn't said much yet."

"This wasn't a just random act of violence, this was an act of hate. Whoever did this was skilled in the means of torture." Dr. Whale said, a grim look on his face.

"He has bruises, and cuts that were put there purposefully to cause pain and distress. Whoever did this wanted information from him." he continued.

"He also has a few broken ribs, but I wasn't able to do a full examination. He wouldn't let me look at his legs, or his back. I would like to come back later, maybe when he is more relaxed and finish. Is that all right?" he said calmly, looking back and forth between them.

David nodded, "Of course. Is there anything else we should be doing?"

"Let him rest, and make sure he eats something today. Would you like me to file an official report?" she asked

David nodded, "You can send the report to the station, once Hook tells us who his attacker was, we can start an official investigation."

Dr. Whale nodded, "I'll fill out a report immediately. I will be in my office if you need anything else." he said and picked up his back.

"Take care now." he said softly, and then he bowed slightly to David, turned and left, shutting the door softly behind him.

Once Dr. Whale left, David turned to Emma.

"I want you to start an investigation right now. I want to find whoever did this. I will start by finding out where Killian was last night, can you go down to the market and see if you can pick up on any rumors, anything that speaks ill of him?" David told him. Emma nodded.

"And what of Killian?"

"I'll have Snow sit with him for a time, I think he will want to rest today." David answered.

Emma nodded, and then reached for her jacket. Pulling it on, she looked at David.

"Killian is like a brother to me. We will find out who did, I can promise you that."

David smiled a sad smile, He reached over and touched Emma's arm.

"Thank you."

He turned and left, leaving Emma alone in the room. Emma sighed, and then straightened Her coat. She had a lot of work a head of her.

888


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey guys, it's Mary Margaret. I just heard about what happened. Is everyone okay? Is Killian okay? I need help with the door, the stroller won’t--- aggh" A voice asked through the closed door of the Charming Household and there was a loud bang.

Emma looked up from her tea and walked towards the door. Her rounds of the town had not been successful. She hadn't found anything about Killian's attacker, and now she was starting to feel defeated. Whoever did this hid their tracks well.

"Yes! Hold on!" Emma shouted, unlocking the chain lock and opening the door, revealing a very worried Mary Margaret, a half folded stroller and a very sleepy Neal.

"Hey Mom. I think so. I don't know, actually. Dr. Whale was here this morning, David and I have been trying all afternoon to find something but we haven't found anything yet." Emma answered as she helped Snow inside.

Snow rolled the baby stroller into the kitchen, gave it a condescending look and then took off her coat. "What happened? What did the doctor say?"

"He thinks it was direct attack. They beat him up pretty badly."

"Oh no. Has he told you who did it yet?" Snow asked as she walked over to the baby bed and gently laid down the sleeping Neal.

"Nothing yet, but I think he's still in shock, or something. But maybe he'll talk to you, you seem to have that affect on people." David added, pointing to the door.

"Where is he now?

"In his room, resting." David answered

"May I see him?" Snow asked

Emma nodded, who knew? Maybe Snow could coax out just what happened. Even though Hook and Snow didn't know each other very well, Snow always managed to make them comfortable enough to open up to her. It was one of her many gifts.

"Of course, he should be awake by now." Emma answered, and then motioned to the door.

They made their way single file towards Killian's room, and then Snow knocked softly.

"Killian? It's Mary—Snow. I just came by to see-" but she was cut off by the door opening. Killian emerged fully dressed in a his leather jacket, boots and hook.

"Hey Snow, hey guys." he said with a smile that was too bright and fake.

"Hi Killian, we were just checking on you-"

"That's so sweet. But I'm fine." He said, and then took a step towards the door.

"Hook—Killian. I would like to talk to you for a minute. Would you like to sit down?" Snow asked, pointing to the sofas by the window.

In the sunlight, Emma could see the bruises more clearly than last night. There were a few butterfly bandages on his forehead from where the doctor had patched him up, but the biggest bruise was the one on his cheek, the one Emma had thought was nothing but a splotch of mud. Now it was so dark it looked almost like a tattoo, and was very inflamed.

"Okay, sure." Killian answered, but he remained where he was. Emma saw a small tremor in his good hand before he balled it into a fist. She looked from David to Snow, and hoped she was not the only one who was noticing how brittle Killian was acting.

"Are you sure you're alright? Emma told me what happened last night. That must of been rough." Snow said, reaching out a hand to her friend, who turned away from her touch to readjust his hook in the light.

"I told you, I'm fine." he answered, not meeting any of them in the eye.

Snow took a step closer to Killian, "Are you sure? You look exhausted"

She took another step and reached towards the dark bruise on Killian's face, lightly touching it with his fingers "Did the Doctor-" but before she could finish Killian flinched away his head away, taking a few steps back until he ran into the wall.

"Hook?" Snow asked, Killian flinched again and took another step back and Emma saw fear flash through his eyes.

"Wha-"

"Please...don't" Killian interrupted in an almost inaudible whisper and Snow dropped her hand. Killian shuddered slightly, and wrapped his good arm around his chest.

Snow sighed, and then backed away, "Alright, it's alright Killian."

Killian straightened up, "I'm—I'm sorry, I just-I-I-" he stuttered

"It's okay Killian, we understand." Emma answered, trying to be soothing, "You are safe now, no one is going to hurt you. you’re going to be fine."

Killian's head shot up, and Emma caught of glimpse of the old Hook glaring at her, "I am FINE!" he said angrily

"Hook, we know you're fine, we just want to understand what happened --"

"NOTHING happened to me. I am fine. Look!-" and Killian walked towards Emma and wrapped his good arm around her shoulders.

"See, I'm fine. Bloody Fine!" he shook Emma to conceal the trembling in his arm.

"Nothing is wrong with me."

"We never said anything was wrong, we're just worr-"

Killian shoved Emma away from him, and took a few steps backs "Don't be." he stated flatly, and then turned around towards the guest room. Not quite slamming the door behind him.

An unhinged silence seemed to creep through the room. Emma remained where she was, staring at the door her friend had just slammed. _What the hell was going on?!_

She looked at Snow, who remained frozen where she stood, arm still outstretched.

"Should we—" Snow started.

"I don't know. I don't think he'll go even if we do."

"What do you think-?"

"I _don't know,_ Snow."

Mary Margaret sighed, rapping her hands on the edge of the sofa. "He wouldn't let me...go near him, like he was almost _scared_ of me. What-"

She shook her head. The quiet, almost brittle way Killian had reacted to Snow's touch was enough to cause real concern.

"He said nothing happened."

" He’s lying. Someone beat the living daylights out of him. Why would he say nothing happened? You don’t believe him, do you?" Snow asked, and Emma shook her head.

"No, not a bit."

"Then what should we do?"

"Believe it." David answered softly. Emma turned to look at her father as reemerged into the living room, with baby Neal in his arms. Hook’s shouting had woken the baby up.

"What do you mean?"

" He obviously doesn't want to talk about it. Why force him to? I think we should give him some space." David told them.

"We were there last night with him, we _know_ something happened. We _know_ someone hurt him. But if he's not ready to talk about it, then we have to respect that. He—"

"So we just pretend like nothing ever happened?" Snow interrupted.

David nodded, "Yes."

Emma rolled his eyes, "This is crazy. _Something_ happened and whatever it was, it needs to be -we can't fall apart, now, not after everything we've been through." the last part was a whisper. Mary Margaret stared at her, "Should we go-" she started but David cut her off with a shake of his head, "No, we all need some space. Let's go down to the station, see what Mr. Gold and Belle are up to. He'll come to us when he's ready."

Emma nodded, and slowly started walking towards the door, half hoping that Killian would emerge and shout "wait! I'm ready to tell you now!" but all there was, was silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma picked at her sesame seed bagel. She looked over the table to Mary Margaret, who was staring at her cup of coffee. They had been in this meeting for an hour and a half. Mr. Gold, and Dr. Hopper had come over to the Charmings to talk about what to do next. David and Mr. Gold were going over all of the security footage, trying to find something, _anything_ that could help them identify the attacker and fretting about Killian.

"Are you sure he didn't say anything?" Mr. Gold asked David for the millionth time. David nodded, "Yes. I am sure, he didn't say a word last night."

"And this morning?"

"He told us nothing happened, that he was fine. But he's not. Obviously." David answered.

"We can't have that. We can't have a bomb that’s going to go off any second. What if he hurts himself? Or one of us? And He wouldn't let you touch him?"

"Give him some time, Gold. If he was attacked, he'll need a few days to come to terms with it." Emma said.

"But we don't have time. Even with the Wicked Witch gone, we still have a lot of damage control to do. We've already wasted a good part of today." David relented.

Emma nodded. There were still the missing dwarves, and she knew she had to fix whatever was going on with her and Regina. Since Marion returned, Robin Hood gone back into the forest to be with his wife, and Regina had refused to come out of her house.

"Then we start fixing things." Dr. Hopper chimed in, and they all looked at him, Emma had forgotten he was there. Dr. Hopper sighed, and then continued;

"We do what we always do, but we remain respectful of Killian's space. We do what makes him comfortable and no more. We can make this work."

"How?"

"We know that touching him is a trigger, and so is asking him what happened. We all know Killian is sensitive about certain topics, we'll just add this to the list." Dr. Hopper stated, and they all knew it was true. They all knew Killian's hard past.

"The ever growing list." David mumbled under his breath.

"Anyway, we'll treat today like it was any other day. Forget that it happened, never talk about it again. Saying that, I would like us to form into two groups. One will continue looking for signs of Killian's attacker, the other will go out into the woods and see if the Merry Men saw anything last night. _All_ of us." Gold said, looking from Emma, to Snow, to David and then to Dr. Hopper.

Emma nodded, "I'll get him?" She asked.

"Remember, nothing happened." David reminded her Emma nodded, and then stood up and walked towards the exit.

888

 

Emma knocked on Hook’s door, which had remained closed despite their invitation for him to join the meeting.

"Killian? Hey Killian? It's Emma. David would like us all to meet at the station to start damage control on the town. Would you like to walk down with me?" After a few moments, the door opened, and Killian emerged,

"Hey Love, sure, I'm always ready to get to work!" he said, in the same too bright toned voice he used earlier, before Snow had tried to touch him. He shouldered his way past Emma and limped down the hallway.

"I'd like to see Storeybrook functioning like a real town, finally. You know, after Cora, and the Wicked Witch and all, it'll be nice to live normally for just a while." he said as he twisted his hook with his good hand.

“That’s good. Come on, let’s get down to the station.” She said, giving him a smile.

He smiled back, “Sure thing.”

As they walked over, Emma tried not to notice how even though Killian was talking again, his hand shook slightly as he fidgeted with his hook. One thing that Emma had learned over the years was that Killian was very good at hiding his emotions. He never let anything get to him, and he was doing it now, talking a mile per minute about everything and anything as they walked towards the station, and not looking her in the eye. The brittle disharmony that he had displayed earlier when Snow had tried to touch him was still there, and that worried Emma more than anything else.

"So," Killian's boots clicked as he walked into the station where they were all waiting for them.

"Now that I'm here, lets get down to business, what are going to fix first? The portal? We should really get out there soon though, I would like to make sure that portal is actually closed before anything else gets through."

David exchanged a look with Emma, they had already planned everything out; she was going to stay here with Killian and watch him, while David took the second group out to talk to the Merry Men.

"Good Morning. Please sit, we have to talk. Let me tell you our plans for today. " David said, Hook nodded, keeping his face determinedly calm as he sat down on the edge of a desk, "First, we have decided that you are going to stay here with Emma and continue looking through the security footage."

Killian paused for a moment, then nodded, "That’s a great idea! Well planned out, just as always" he answered in a too bright toned voice

" Second, Dr. Hopper and I are going to go talk with the Merry Men. And lastly, Snow is going to go with Belle and Mr. Gold to see if they can do any research on that open portal and you can stay here. Take it easy, rest a bit, and help Emma with the station files." David said, and he did not add _since you are obviously not well enough to be walking around outside._

Killian nodded, and Emma tensed, hoping that Killian would agree, that he would not shake and stutter like he had done before, but Killian just smiled and said "Seems fair enough."

When they had finished with the meeting, David stood up. "Well, might as well get started before it gets too hot. Rumple-sorry, Mr. Gold, Snow and Belle go to the shop, see what you can find, Emma, you know what to do. And Killian, we'll see you in a bit." he stated, and then motioned for Dr. Hopper to follow him out the door.

Belle and Mr. Gold whispered quietly to each other in the corner while Snow fussed over baby Neal. "I'm going to drop him off at Granny's, before we start." she said.

She turned to Emma and Hook "You will be okay here for a little while?" she asked, mainly to Killian. He nodded, "I will be just fi-alright. I'll be alright. Just go, enjoy the sun. And good luck with finding things."

After the group left, Emma turned to her friend, who had been sitting on the desk, refusing to look anybody in the eye or say anything. It was so unlike his character to be this quiet, and Emma felt a pang of worry reverb in her chest. They had to find out who did this.

"Killian..." Emma started, and she waiting until Killian was looking in her direction before she continued.

"Killian, look at me." she asked, hoping, praying that Killian would finally look her in the eye. Their eyes met for a second and then her looked away from her and she realized that his eyes were glassy.

“You okay?” she asked

He shrugged his shoulders, and stared at the floor. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at his feet and Emma suddenly felt like taking him here was a bad idea.

"Do you want me to take you back to the Charming's" she asked.

Killian shook his head, "I'm fine." he repeated in a small whisper.

Emma nodded, "Okay." she said, feeling slightly lost on what to do now.

They sat in silence for a few monents, each not looking at each other. Finally, after what seemed like hours, instead of a few minutes, she turned to the computer and turned it on.

" Let's start in on those security files, shall we." she said, turning towards Killian.

"Yeah." he replied in a hollow voice after a moment, "Sounds like a plan."

Then silence. Killian shivered and pulled his arms in tighter and Emma watched helplessly as he tried to pull himself away from what she could only assume were memories of what happened to him, an event that he still refused to talk about.

"Killian?" she asked

Killian's head jerked up, and he clutched his hook with his good hand.

"Sorry." he mumbled, and he put his hand up to his face. Emma was startled to see that her friend was battling for composure. Killian had always been the strong one, never wearing his emotions on his sleeves, or voicing his own troubles. He had always been there for Emma, always with an answer and a solution.

"No, it's alright." then Emma sat up straighter, she suddenly had an idea. Maybe if he had some busywork to do, it would help clear his mind of whatever was troubling him.

"Come on, I can set you up in the office with the caller transcripts. You can go through and see if any of the missing dwarves called." she suggested. Killian nodded, the pushed himself up to standing.

"Good they were in trouble, this would be the first place they would call. " he said, almost normally and then he strode over the office without waiting for Emma.

Emma got up stiffly and followed him, very aware of the sudden change of behavior, and very aware that her friend was still limping. She followed Killian to the office, and laughed as she watched him fumble over the telephone.

"Have you ever done this before?" she asked lightly

"What? Oh, no. It probably has to do with the fact that I'm a pirate." Killian replied with a smirk.

"Yeah. I can see that. The transcripts are actually over here." She said, and pointed to the machine that printed them.

"All you have to do is read them" Emma said, bringing them over to Killian, but making sure she kept some distance between them, now knowing that her friend didn't like being in close contact with anyone. If Killian noticed it, he didn't say anything. They looked at the papers for a moment, and then Emma turned on the desk lamp so they could see better.

"Electricity. It never ceases to amaze me." Killian muttered, staring at the light.

Emma watched Killian as the sudden light highlighted his face, making the bruise appear deeper and darker than it was. He moved slightly, and his shirt shifted revealing his neck and part of his collarbone, and several dark oval shaped bruises, nearly as dark as the one on his face.

Emma took a deep breathe, and then asked, "How did you get those bruises. They look painful." Killian froze for a few moments, and then he shrugged and shook his head.

"Not sure, probably during the night, I don't remember."

_He's lying._

"Are you sure? What about the one of your cheek, did they do that to you?"

Killian paused again, like he was battling internally about whether he should say anything or not and then he gave the slightest of nods.

Emma leaned over the coffee table and put one hand on his arm, the one with the hook, only as a gesture of reassurance.

"You know you can tell me what happened, right? I swear I won't let anybody else know." Killian moved his arm out of Emma's grip.

"I know, Em. It's just-" he sighed and closed his eyes, squeezing them tight.

He took a deep breath, than said "Im fine. Just a little spooked. Nothing like this has ever happened to me, I-" he broke off with a wince but it only lasted a few seconds before he gave a small smile, "You always hear about it, I guess-I didn't expect it ever to be me."

"I am so sorry, Killian."

"I just-man I've messed up. I'm sorry this happened, and you all got dragged into it. I've already ruined everything. If you want me to leave, I'll just go—" Killian asked

" Ruined? Leave? Killian, no! We just want to make sure you are okay.” She said

"You're going to be fine. I promise." Emma repeated, touching the spot next to Killian's hand and smiling at her friend. Killian flinched his hand away, then mumbled "sorry" softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. It's okay." Emma said, "But, it might be helpful to me, to all of us, actually if you told us some more details about what happened the other night. Where were you when they attacked? Could you see who they were? Anything to help find them." she added, looking hopefully up at her friend.

Killian paused for a moment, then let out a deep breath.

"Okay. Okay, I'll-I'll try to tell you but you have to swear that you won’t tell anybody. Nobody can know." he said

Emma nodded, "I promise."

"No one can know."

"It’ll just be me. No one else will know." Emma confirmed

"Alright." Killian took a shaky breathe, "Well, I-I- was walking back up from the-the-thing-the dock-. It was kinda dark out, I was so stupid to think it was finally safe to walk back on my own, and they came…..they surrounded. No….No..-----" he started, and then winced and stopped.

"This is too hard. I can't, I can't tell you-" he said, his hand went up to his hair.

"Yes you can. Killian? Listen to me. You can do this. It'll all get better once you tell me, I promise." Ed said

"Okay. Okay, okay okay." Killian sat up straighter in the chair.

"I was attacked. It came out of no where, there were three of them. Men. They drugged me, put a sack over my head, and dragged me away. We walked for a long time and….and…the next think I knew I was being thrown into the ground. It was so dark. There were voices, talking….and asking me questions about you and the dark one. Something about this fellow named Ruber, and Camelot. I can’t remember. I couldn’t make much sense of it though my head was still hazy. They left me alone for a bit, but then a few of them came back. But they-they didn't want my money, or—or anything. They wanted-wanted _me._ They ripping-I tried to stop them. I didn't want it, I kept telling them no. But they wouldn't stop. _I couldn't make them stop—-"_

Killian broke off again with a wince, and Emma saw that his hand was shaking, and suddenly she _knew_ exactly what happened to Killian. It all made sense now, why he wouldn't let any of them touch him, why he was so ashamed of what happened.

Killian took a couple deep breaths, and he started pacing and talking again. “When _he_ realized what they were doing he made them stop, but it was too late. Then everything got very hazy, I don’t…I don’t remember. Next thing I knew I was back on the street where they found me. I don’t know if I escaped or if they let me go. It was all too hazy.

"Oh. Killian. I am so sorry." was all Emma could say. She remembered back to what Dr. Whale had said, _This wasn't a just random act of violence, this was an act of hate. Whomever did this was skilled in the means of torture. He has bruises, and cuts that were put there purposefully to cause pain and distress. Whomever did this wanted information from him._

She wanted to as him more but then she realized that Killian just needed her to be there for him. It was a miracle he was even talking about what happened. Atleast they knew a few things now.

"Your going to get through this, I promise. No one has to know, just me." Emma said. Killian nodded, then looked up at her.

"How can I? I can't make it stop. Look at me, I'm shaking, just from remembering it. It won't stop. How can I do anything when I'm like this?" he said, eyes welling with tears.

"This is a normal reaction, I promise. Believe me, I know what it feels like. It will pass." She told him, trying to be reassuring.

"You think so?" Killian asked, looking up at her.

"I know so. And don't you dare run away. We're going to work through this, together."

Killian nodded, and then smiled a little bit. "Thank you, for listening. And for understanding."

"Of course. We watch out for each other in this town. It's the only way we can survive." Emma answered, and reached her hand out to pat Killian on the arm, only to stop when she saw Killian flinch.

"Sorry. I'm sorry— no touching, I forgot." she said, putting her hand down.

"It's alright. I'm sorry, I don't know why it's so hard to stop. I'll get over it."

"Take your time, no one is rushing you." Emma said, "If it's alright with you, we can tell the others that you prefer not to be touched-without going into details, of course-, it might make it easier on all of us if we knew about it."

Killian thought for a moment, and then finally nodded. " I guess so. But they can't know. They can’t know that I, I grown man, was attacked-and helpless against _them."_ Killian said, a brittle tinge lacing his words.

"It's okay. It's okay, they won’t know. I promise. Nobody will know, or find out. It will stay between you and me, I promise." Emma confirmed with a sad smile. Then she pointed back to the transcripts.

"Let me show you how these work."

And then their work began.


	5. Chapter 5

Somehow they managed to get through the day. Emma realized that as long as no one touched him, Killian was- for the most part-the same as always.

It was about 3:30 when the phone rang, making them both jump. Emma picked it up and stood, pacing the floor.

"Mary Margaret, please tell me you have good news."

"I think we know what happened, something _did_ come through the portal, and Gold has tracked it to the abandoned mind shafts. We tried to get in, but they put up a powerful shield."

"Do you know who it is? Was it involved with what happened last night?" Emma asked, trying remain discrete, for Killian.

"We don't know, we're going to head back to Gold's shop and keep doing research. Probably take us a couple hours. How is he?"

Emma looked up at her friend, who was still going over the transcripts in the office.

"He's fine, he- hold on." Emma said, and then quickly walked into the hallway, out of hearing range.

"He's a little freaked out. He has bruises all over-and he won’t let me near him. We gotta bring him to-I don't know- somewhere he can feel safe, where he can get some help."

"He will be fine. I promise." Snow said, trying to be comforting.

"Will he?" Emma whispered

"Yes. Now, we will be there in a few hours We can have dinner at Granny's, sound good?" she asked.

Emma sighed, "Sou-what if you find something?"

"I will call you the minute we find anything. I promise"

"Good."

"Thanks Emma, bye."

Emma walked out of the room and back towards Killian, who was still reading on the desk.

"That was Mary Margarat, they found something by the old mines." Emma said

Emma saw panic flash through his face before he hid it with a smile, "That's great! Once we know who it is, we can tell them to get the hell out of here."

He shifted and winced slightly, but then the moment passed and he looked up to Emma.

"Did they see anyone?" he asked

Emma shook her head, "No, she said they had a powerful shield up."

Emma sat down, "They're driving back now to the shop, then we're going all meet for dinner. Sound good?"

Killian nodded, "Sure."

"Killian-" she started

"I already told you what happened. I'll get over it and be fine. I'm a pirate, that’s what we do. We forget. I will be fine."

“I know you’ll be fine. I have just one more question, and then that’s it. I promise. Do you remember any names at all? Anything that can help identify this creep who hurt you? Maybe he’ll be in the story book or something.” She said

Killian sighed and thought for a minute, "I kept hearing the word Ruber. Not sure if that’s a name or not though " he said, looking down at his knees.

"This Ruber guy, do you think he is the one hiding out in the mines?" Emma asked

Killian nodded, and Emma did not miss the shudder.

"Okay, that's all I needed to know, Killian. -"

Killian nodded, he shifted again on the couch and Emma saw him wince.

”I'm going to go look through Henry's book and see if he's in there, if you need any-"

"I'll let you know. I know. Stop worrying about every little thing." Killian cut in, annoyed.

"Right. "

And Emma left towards the hallway, leaving Killian by himself in the office. She needed to find out who this Ruber guy was, and exactly why he had abducted her friend.

888

Regina had been avoiding her like the plague ever since Emma had brought Marion back from the past, so Emma was a little nervous about going to the Mayor's house. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Regina was still giving her the silent treatment so going up to Henry's room and getting the book was surprisingly easy. Emma had expected to be driven away with fireballs. Regina hadn't done anything at all, actually. She had just sat by the window and stared at her apple tree with a sad expression in her eyes.

But Emma didn't have time to worry about the lovesick queen.

She also decided that it was in their best intrest to give Killian some space; he probably needed it after what he had gone through. From her own past experience, sometimes being alone was a good thing, just not for too long. She went to the park instead, and began her research.

At first she didn't find much. Ruber wasn't a character from the Enchanted Forest, but then she found a story about a young girl named Kaylee who used a magic bean to transport herself into the world of Camelot in order to find her parents.

Ruber was definitely a villain in that world.

She began to read;

_Ruber was once a trusted knight of King Arthur and a member of the Knights of the Round Table. However, following the ten-year rule of peace and justice in Camelot, Ruber grew obsessive with power. During a meeting, he attempted to take advantage of his rank by desiring riches, to which Arthur refused to allow. Ruber then took up a stand by nominating himself for the throne of Camelot. One of Arthur's loyal Knights, Sir Lionel (who also happened to be Kaylee's father), berated him for it, swearing that no one will serve a false king. This drove Ruber into a murderous rage, wanting to kill Arthur with a mace, but the brave Lionel defended the king at the cost of his life, right before Ruber turn to attack Arthur. However, using Excalibur, Arthur beat Ruber back. Ruber then fled away from Camelot in exile, vowing revenge that one day he will claim Excalibur and all of Camelot to himself._

_Following his ten years in exile, Ruber has gathered a swarm of barbaric followers to support his cause to take over Camelot. As the tenth year passed by, Ruber formulated a plan involving to steal Excalibur and use land carriages to infiltrate into Camelot to exact his revenge._

_It was then that Kaylee learned that Merlin had sent her to the enchanted forest to protect her from Ruber. She is reunited with her mother, and they celebrate in their home. But the celebrations were interrupted by Ruber's army._

_He attacks the house of Lionel's widow Lady Juliana to take hold of her land wagons, and forces her to tag along with his plan by threatening to kill Kaylee. Ruber also has his pet griffin steal Excalibur from Camelot, although the theft is bungled and the sword is dropped into the Forbidden Forest, thanks to the intervention of Ayden, the pet silver-winged falcon of the legendary wizard Merlin. During the ransacking of Lady Juliana's home, Ruber used a potion he bought from some witches to transform his followers into an army of "iron men with hands of steel" and prepared to ride to Camelot. However, upon learning of the Excalibur's current location from the Griffin and seeing the Kaylee escaping into the Forbidden Forest to search for it, Ruber ordered the Griffin and several of his men to follow her. During much of the story Ruber and his posse chase, Kaylee, Ayden, a blind hermit named Garrett, and a two-headed dragon named Devon and Cornwall._

_After Kaylee finally found Excalibur, and rescued it from a rock giant, Ruber and his men capture her and take the sword. Taking the opportunity, Ruber claims Excalibur for himself by using his potion to fuse it to his wrist, replacing his right arm. Delighted, Ruber continued on with his plan, gaining entrance to Camelot and attacking Arthur once more while the Griffin and the rest of Ruber's men ward off the rest of the loyal knights. Fortunately, Garrett, Ayden, Devon, and Cornwall arrive to the rescue; while Ayden, Devon, and Cornwall deal with the Griffin, Garrett leads Kaylee to an underground tunnel leading to the Round Table, where Ruber is attacking Arthur before declaring himself to be the new king._

_During the fight, Kaylee overheard Ruber telling Arthur about the death of her father. Swearing that she will not serve a false king, Kaylee slams a wooden beam into Ruber, launching him out of the window. Garett attempts to strike Ruber from behind with his staff, but Ruber blocks the attack and throws Garett next to Kaylee. However, he is unaware that both Garrett and Kayley are next to the stone where Arthur once wield Excalibur from it before becoming King. Ruber closes in for the kill, but when he is about to strike, the two lovers move aside and Ruber accidentally plunges Excalibur back into the stone. The power of the stone sucks Ruber inside of it, forever trapping him inside the stone. As a result the potion spell is broken and Ruber's soldiers revert to their ordinary human selves, allowing the Camelot knights to arrest them and reclaim their kingdom. At the same time, Ruber is trapped by energies between the stone and the potion never to see the light of day again._

Emma looked up from her reading. That room that she and Killian had been in before they were transported out had all sorts of relics inside of it, ones that even Rumplestilkin was afraid to use. The stone containing Ruber must have been in that room too, and somehow he must have been awoken.

But what was he doing in Storeybrooke, and what did he want with Captain Hook? The doctor had said that he had been tortured, probably for information, which meant that this Ruber guy was looking for something, or someone. She presumed it was something bad, because otherwise Hook would have just told him. She knew the pirate well enough to know that Hook would never give up the opportunity to obtain treasure. And the only reason that he wouldn't give out information was if Ruber was after something Hook loved.

But then, Hook didn't love anything. Just his rum, and his ship.

_No_.

He loved _her_ , he always had. And even if Emma didn't act upon it, she knew that he cared deeply for her. This caused even greater concern though, because if Hook sacrificed himself in order to prevent this Ruber person from obtaining information about Emma, then she was in definite danger.

Emma stood up. She had to get to Gold, and tell her what she found before Ruber found her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Once Upon A Time without a little storytelling? I needed a villain that didn't spoil the ending to season 3, so I picked Ruber from Quest for Camelot. He's definitely evil enough.  
> I'm working on the next part right now. It should be up later today, or tomorrow at the latest.  
> Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Emma walked back to the station, mind racing about this Ruber character, how they were going to stick him back in the vault, and Killian's deteriorating state of mind. Whoever those men were—she assumed now that they were associated with Ruber--- had hurt him badly, maybe to the point where he was beyond fixing. He still was limping, and he absolutely refused to let anyone touch him. How were they going to fix this? What if it got worse? She didn't know if she could survive if he left. She felt a pang in her heart for Neal, she couldn't handle someone else she loved leaving. She put her hand on the door, what would she find inside? Had she left him there too long?

She looked at her watch, it was nearly 6. Snow and David should be back soon. She quickly readjusted her bag with the book inside of it, and then opened the door. Henry was spending the night with Belle and Mr. Gold. She didn't want him to see Killian like this, not until she knew that he was going to get better. When she opened the door, she saw that Killian was asleep on one of the open cell beds, curled into an almost fetal position and snoring softly. Emma felt her heart pang, and she wondered how much sleep he actually had gotten last night. She walked softly into the office, stepping quietly so he wouldn’t wake her friend. He needed the rest, she could tell. As she was looking over the transcripts Killian had neatly organized into piles, her phone rang. Emma winced at the loud noise, hoping it wouldn't wake him, but it didn't. Still, Emma closed the door to the office before she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Emma, it's Snow. We just finished up here and are heading to Granny's."

"Sounds good, do you need help? Did you find anything?" Emma said

"No, we're good here. We didn’t find much though, besides what we already knew. What about you?"

" Gold thinks something came through the portal, someone bad. Another villian."

"Uh oh. We _just_ defeated Zelena. Not another one! Everything going okay up there? How's Killian?"

Emma sighed, "Killian, Killian is fine. I think he will be, you know how quick he bounces back."

"That's good. So, we will meet you there?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

And Emma hung up, and walked back into main station room. She wondered if she should even wake Killian up, but then she remembered that he hadn't eaten anything all day. Dinner would do him some good.

"Killian?" Emma asked, walking over to him and gently touching his shoulder.

"Killian?"

Killian woke with a jump, and sat up, shrugging away Emma's hand.

"Hmmm wha?" he asked, still sleepy.

"Snow and David are 're going to meet them at Granny's for dinner." Emma told him, and Killian nodded.

" Dinner?" he asked

"Yup, at Granny's."

Killian hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, "Alright."

He stood up slowly, and Emma motioned for him to walk first towards the door. Killian pulled on his leather jacket on with a soft wince, and straightened the collar with his good hand. His eyes laid on the necklace that Snow had given back to him, still sitting on the desk. He made a motion to grab it, but stopped mid motion, curling his hand into a fist before turning away from it and walking towards Emma. With the jacket on, he looked almost normal. Killian noticed Emma's stare, he shrugged his shoulder;

"What?" he asked

"Nothing, nothing. Let's go." Emma answered.

The walk down to Granny's was silent, neither of them speaking, or looking at each other. When they got to the restaurant, it was busy and crowded with early diners. Killian stopped short, so quickly that Emma nearly ran into him.

"Killian?" she asked

He shook his head slightly, and dug his hand deeper into his pocket.

"A-actually, I'm not that hungry, I can just go back to the Charming's or to the station or to my ship…anywhere else---." Killian said quickly, turning around.

"No, wait. _Killian!"_ Emma grabbed his arm and stopping him.

"You have eat something. Come on, it's not that crowded. And look, there is Snow and David."

She pointed as she saw them emerge from their parked car, covered in dust and looking exhausted.

Killian jerked his arm out of Emma's grasp and took a couple of steps back.

"There's too many-I don't know." he said softly, and then "I-I need a minute." he turned away from her, and Emma was surprised to see that his eyes were glassy.

"Alright. It’ okay, I'm going to talk with Mary Margaret. You okay here for a moment?" she asked and Killian nodded. Then Emma walked up towards Snow and David.

Snow gave her a tired smile, "Hey Emma, how did today go?"

"It went alright. I found a few things." Emma said, giving a tired smile.

"So did we, but let's wait until we're all together." Mary Margaret asked, and then she nodded towards Hook.

"Everything okay?"

Emma shrugged, "Fine, I guess. He's fine, he will be fine, he just needs a minute to catch his breath. He suddenly seemed really nervous about going inside, and I couldn’t tell if it was just because there were a lot of people, or if it was because of one person. I don’t know what to do."

Mary Margaret nodded “It’ll be okay. Just give him a minute” she said, but the concern didn’t leave her face.

"Will he be okay out there by himself?" David asked

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anyone so brittle before.” Emma answered truthfully.

"I’ll go talk to him. I'll meet you inside?" David asked. Emma and Mary Margarat exchanged looks, it wouldnt hurt, would it?

"Sure."

Emma motioned for Snow to follow, and they both headed towards the door. It wasn't until they were seated that David came back inside, alone.

"Where is Killian?" Emma asked, concerned that David had let him go off by himself.

"What happened, David?" Snow asked

" Sitting inside here won’t work. Not for him tonight." he said

"What won't work, David? What happened? Did he say something?" Emma asked.

"He took one look at this-" David pointed to the restaurant, crowded with diners, "and nearly ran back to the station. I think it’s making him nervous."

Emma looked around, it was crowded but that had never bothered her, or anyone else including Killian before.

" How about we move outside, onto the patio. Will that work? Or we can take our dinner to go and head back to the station?" Snow asked, David though for a moment, and then nodded.

"I think if we moved outside, where there is less people he will feel better."

"Are you sure thats-" Emma started to ask, but David had already stood up and started walking towards the door. Emma looked at Mary Margaret, who shrugged.

"Let's go?" she asked, and Emma nodded.

After they had moved outside, Killian and David joined them. Killian was quiet, a sign that meant he was battling with his memories again. These episodes never lasted long, after a few moments Killian would come back, smile and go back to being himself.

It was Snow who brought a sense of normalcy to the group, she had a way of talking that made them all feel comfortable. If anything, it seemed to keep Killian grounded, which was good. Emma sighed, they needed to start talking about Ruber, and what she had found out.

Finally, after the last bite of lasagna was eaten, Emma put her empty glass on the table.

"Alright, now that we have all eaten"

Well, most of them anyway, Killian had only picked at his plate, barely eating any of the food on it. She knew he should eat more, but didn’t want to say anything, It would only bring attention to the fact that Killian was not okay, and Emma didn't want to put him on the spot. He had enough of that today.

"Did you find anything?" Snow asked

Emma nodded, "I think I know who came through the portal with us, his name is Ruber and he is all kinds of bad news." she said, looking back and forth between Snow and David. She didn't fail to notice the shudder from Hook as she said Ruber's name.

"Is he the one in the mines, the one Gold found?" David asked

Emma nodded, "I think so. We need to find out what he wants, and then we need to get him to leave."

"I agree." David said

"So what do we do next?" Snow asked

"Talk to Gold, get that shield around the mines down, and then get this Ruber guy out of Storybrooke." Emma answered.

They both nodded.

"Sounds like a plan."

After they finished up all their food, the four of them walked back towards the station. Emma noticed that Killian was still limping, and she saw his jaw grind—a sure sign that he was battling with some inner turmoil. He walked with his head bent, eyes not looking at any of them, tracing the ground instead of the stars. Emma felt her heart pang for him and her head rage at the men who did this to her friend. No one deserved to be this broken.

"I want to go back to the station and pick up some of the transcript documents before I head back. Is it alright if Killian and I crash for one more night?" Emma finally said after a few too many beats of awkward silence.

Snow nodded, " Of course. But what about Henry? We'll come with you, safety in numbers."

"I'll have Belle drop him off at Regina's, she seemed like she needed some company this morning, after what happened with Robin."

"Was she alright?"

"She didn't incinerate me, so I guess she's doing okay."

David laughed, "Good old Regina. I'll be sure to check on her tomorrow."

Snow shrugged, "I'm going to have Nanny and Red look after Neal at least for a little longer, until we figure everything else out."

Emma nodded, and then looked over at Killian, who hadn't said a word since Ruber had been brought up. Emma could sense that the subtle sense of disharmony was returning.

She decided to try something

"Hey Killian? Remember when you taught Henry how to sail a sailboat?" Emma asked, deciding to try to see if she could help pull Killian out of whatever was haunting him.

Killian looked up at her.

"Hmm?"

"We all went out on that _borrowed_ sailboat, and Henry almost drove us into the lighthouse" Emma continued, and Killian gave a small smile, "Yeah, that was rather exciting, wasn't it?"

"I remember that. That was our first big family outing. Gold even came, and he didn't try to kill you" David added with a small laugh.

"Hahaha, David. That was a first" Snow laughed softly.

"And Emma almost became shark bait." David added with a smile.

Emma felt her stomach tighten, why did David _always_ have to bring that up?

"Hey! What happened to the never-speaking-of-that-again-pact?" Emma asked shortly, annoyed.

David covered his mouth in mock surprise, "Oops, sorry Emma. It's a good thing Killian came to your rescue."

Emma sighed, "I am very grateful that our new pirate friend didn't leave me to the sharks."

Emma laughed, and traded a smile with Snow. She smiled back, but then shook her head, and her eyes went to Killian. Emma followed her gaze and saw that Killian was staring at her, and odd, almost pained expression on his face.

"Killian?" he asked, her voice making him Killian jump, and he looked away Killian gripped his hook with his good hand, pressing his thumb into the sharp edge, now both his arms were shaking and Emma was glad that they were almost at the station, then he could lay down for a bit while they looked over the transcripts.

Emma looked over to Snow with a worried look; these episodes were becoming more frequent, and neither of them really knew what to do. Snow reached out to Killian, but then stopped when Killian flinched away.

"You alright?" he asked

"I'm fine."

David then opened the door, “let’s get inside”

Emma didn't notice anything wrong until she opened the door to the station office, and she saw the shadowy figures of people in cloaks then—

"NOBODY MOVE A MUSCLE!" A voice shouted and Emma felt both Killian and Snow jump back a few inches as the bright orange of torches blinded her.

The station was crawling with thug like characters, all holding torches, and various kinds of weapons all pointing at them.

Emma stared at them in shock. What were they going to do now?

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out Ruber in Quest for Camlot!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD4z8k2B3ys


	7. Chapter 7

“What the hell is going on?” Emma asked raising her hands and trying to remain calm.

"Get in here. Now. Come on, move!" the thug closest to her shouted and gripped Emma not so nicely by the scruff of her neck. Emma was thrust into the middle of the room, where four more thugs pointed swords at them.

"Sir Ruber will be pleased. We not only recaptured this scum, but apparently we have also caught the Savior of Storybrooke." he said with a sneer, pointing to Hook, and then Emma..

"What is going on? Who are you? And how do you know who I am?" Emma asked, keeping her hands up in the air and flinching away from the swords pointed at her neck.

"Didn't he tell you? Before he managed to escape, he told us everything. You are exactly what Sir Ruber is looking for."

Emma turned around to look at Killian who was standing next to Snow and staring at his feet. She saw his jaw grinding and noticed that his whole body was shaking. These were the thugs that kidnapped him, and _hurt_ him, he must be terrified that they had found him again.

"We are not going anywhere with you." Emma sneered back.

The thug laughed, "Oh, so you think you actually have a say in this? I think not." he said with a laugh

"Come on boys, let's take 'em to the hideout. _All of them._ I'll meet you outside" he said, and started walking towards the door.

One of them shoved Emma forward, holding her arm in a vice like grip. Emma tried not to struggle, knowing it would only make the situation worse. She watched as another thug approached Killian and tensed. What would he do? Killian flinched away from the thugs grasp with a death glare, but the thug just rolled his eyes and gave Killian a shove, whispering something harsh that Emma couldn't hear.

Killian twisted away from the man's grasp and then just seemed to snap.

He turned on the man, and swung his hook at him. He missed and fell to the ground, scrambling away from them, shielding his face with his hand. He jumped up off the floor, swinging his hook and snarling at them.

“Stay away from me! You will not take me again. Don’t touch me! I won’t you take me to them. You can’t—Don’t get near me—Stay back—Get off me, don’t touch me!” he shouted, flinching away from them as they pinned him down to the ground, where he continued to struggle against their strong arms holding him down.

Emma surged toward her friend, struggling against the man holding her hands behind her back, but his grip was a strong as iron.

" Hook! Killian! I won’t let them hurt you. Get off of me! Let me go!"

"What is this?" a voice asked, and the room suddenly went quiet. The head thug had returned, looking in on the scene with a look of disgust on his face. " We are on a tight schedule here, Sir Ruber wants them now!"

"The pirate attacked us, we had to restrain him" the thug holding Killian's arms reported.

"Just let him go," Emma heard a sudden plea, and she pushed against the man holding him so she could turn around and face David, who stood next to the man that was holding him, and was surprisingly calm.

"You are making it worse, can't you see he's just trying to get away?" David said, looking from the thug, then to the men still holding Killian down on the ground.

The thug paused, and then, to Emma's surprise said "Let him go, he's going to hurt himself more trying to get away if you don't. And Sir Ruber wants them uninjured and unfouled. Let him go. Block the entrance so he can't get out, but let him go."

The men holding Killian down exchanged skeptical glances with each other but did as they are commanded, releasing Killian and jumping back as he shakily stood to his feet.

"Killian," David said calmly, taking a few steps towards him

"Killian, I swear to you, it will be all right. No one here wants to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you," he said, and Emma watched as David aimed a death glare at the head.

"Let Prince Blondie go too," the thug said, and the man holding Emma's arms pulled her back, away from David and Killian.

Emma watched silently as David approached Killian carefully, hands stretched out, trying not to startle him more.

"Everything is going to be fine, Killian but you have to pull yourself together. They are not going to hurt us" he whispered softly.

Killian looked up at him, face crumbling with emotion.

"They won't stop. I can't make them stop. It's hurting me. Please, please I can't do this. Don’t let them bring me back there, to _them_ to _him._ Please, David." he pleaded in a dry whisper and Emma felt her face burn with embarrassment that this raw moment of vulnerability must be witnessed by strangers

"It's all right," David said and then he whispered something to Killian that Emma couldn't hear.

Killian nodded and straightened his shoulders. He griped David's shoulder with his hand and then took a step back, indicating to the men that they could take him in now.

Emma watched in silence as the men closed in again and Killian dragged in a deep breath and willingly let the men tie his arms behind his back with thick rope before walking with him out the door.

Another thug grabbed David by the arm and led him out next, not even bothering to tie him. The man next to Emma gave her a push forward and Emma walked out without a struggle.

And then another thug pulled a rough canvas bag over her head, and all she saw was darkness.

 

888

When they finally arrived at Ruber's hideout, Emma was exhausted. This was not going well, but with all the other stuff that had happened, she found herself strangely calm. They would somehow get out of this.

"Sit." the thug demanded, and Emma was forced to sit on a hard bench. Then the bag was removed from her head. They were in a small room that was obviously underground. Mary Margaret, Killian, and David were sitting to her right. Even from a distance, Emma could see that Killian was shaking.

And that his arms were still bound.

One of Ruber's men gave her a toothy smile.

"Wait here, and be good. No escaping. Got it?" he told them.

Emma nodded silently and sat, not wanting to get them into deeper trouble than they already were. Snow was holding David's hand, obviously scared. Emma took Snow's other hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. This was scary, but they were going to get out of it. They always did. Killian sat silently, looking down at the floor.

The thug turned to leave, "Wait! Arn't you going to untie his hands?" David asked, pointing at Killian. The thug just sneered slightly before turning around and slamming the door shut.

"This is ridiculous. Did you see the way they treated us? Can't they see that one of us is hurt? What do they want with us" Snow whispered fiercely.

"Snow. Snow, calm down." Emma says quietly.

"No! No I'm not going to calm down. We need a plan— we need to ask Rump—" but then Snow paused, " Get Killian to the hospital." she finished, looking up at the door. Emma nodded, they were probably being listened to right now. Snow was right though, they needed to get Killian somewhere that he felt safe, so he could trust them again.

Being tied down in a dungeon of very people who kidnapped him in the first place probably wasn't helping at all.

"Killian, are you alright?" Emma finally asked, looking towards her friend.

Killian shrugged his shoulders and let out a shaky breathe, he nodded and whispered, "I'm fine. I'll be fine." without looking any of them in the eye.

"Will you be okay?" Emma asks, wanting to make sure that whatever happened at the station wasn't going to happen again. He needs to keep his cool if they ever wanted to get out of here. Killian shifted his arms and then winces as ropes cut into his wrists.

"I'll-I'll try, but I can't-" he winced again.

"Yes you can. You are strong."

"They're going to kill me. I know it. I can't— _-."_ Killian muttered fearfully, looking helpless.

"Just stay—" Emma starts but then she is cut off by the door opening.

A tall man, with dark orange hair and copper body arm walked through. Emma assumed that this was Ruber. He smirked and walked over to Killian, who visibly flinched away from him then the man cuped his face with his hand and forces Hook to look up.

"Pleasure seeing you again, _Killian Jones_. Did you miss me? I'm glad you're back, we never finished out little game."

Hook jerked away from his hand and struggled against the ropes holding his arms.

Emma could tell he was fighting to keep control, to not completely loose it and it scared her.

"Why did you did you bring us here?" Emma asked, standing up.

"So rude. I haven't even introduced myself yet. I am Sir Ruber, _knight_ of the round table."

Emma looked over him, in his armor and long red cape, he seemed just a tad crazy.

"You're insane."

"I'm so glad you noticed. I've been working on it for years!" He responded with a laugh.

"Why are you here?" Emma asks

Ruber walked over to her with a eyebrow at her, " Feisty one, aren't you, I can see why the pirate likes you. For the last 600 years I have been trapped away, and now that I am finally free, I intend to take back what is mine. I seek something that's in this land, an old relic that was once mine. A dagger, with the Dark One's name written on it."

Emma clenched her jaw. This creep was getting no where near Rumple's dagger.

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we don't have it. He lost it long ago."

"That's what dear old Jones said too, and you saw what I did to him. I know when someone is lying, my dear Ms. Swan." he said with a smile.

"We. Don't. Have. It."

Ruber chuckled softly, then motioned for his thugs, who were stationed by the door to come over and bring Killian to him.

"You underestimate me, Ms. Swan. Let me assure you now that there is no chance of you, or anyone, ever stopping me, I have come this land to claim it as my own. To start a new age of war and violence."

He chuckled, "Your pathetic history books will soon be calling this the Ruberian Age."

Hook struggled against Ruber's men with all of his might as they brought him to Ruber. Emma saw all the color drain from Killian's face as Ruber grabbed his cheek roughly.

"Your pretty little pirate has the right idea to fear me. You were mistaken if you believed that Ruber was someone who'd crumble and leave. Now I am back, and I will be staying this time!" he cried, turning to face Emma.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Ms. Swan or I swear to you, you will never see your pirate again. Where is the dagger."

Emma exchanged looks with Snow, and then David. They had to buy some time, before Ruber hurt Hook even more.

"Alright. Alright. Let him go, and I'll tell you what I know."

Ruber smiled and pushed Hook away. The thugs let him fall to ground with a thump. Ruber walked over to Emma and she forced herself not to crinkle her nose at his foul odor.

"I can get it for you, but you have to give me a day. It's hidden somewhere safe, a days journey from here."

Ruber looked at her, and Emma forced herself not to look away, to try to convince him that she was telling the truth.

After a full minute, he nodded.

"You have until sunset tomorrow."

Emma nodded, "Deal."

Ruber waved his arms at his thugs.

"Escort Ms. Swan and her friends to our border. We have lots of work to do to prepare for the age of glory and doom!"

The thugs grabbed her arm and started pulling her towards the exit.

"Wait!" Ruber said

Emma turned around, and she saw Ruber approach Hook, who scrambled away from him. Ruber picked him up effortlessly by the scruff of his neck.

"You forgot your pathetic excuse of a pirate."

And he shoved Hook towards them. David caught him as he stumbled.

"Easy, easy. We're leaving now. You're going to be fine." she heard David whisper.

Ruber's laugh echoed in the caves as Emma grabbed Snow's hand and ran.

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	8. Chapter 8

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Emma waited until after they had left the mines, and after Ruber's men had escorted them beyond the protection spell to vent her anger.

"Who the hell does he think he is? What kind of land is Camelot anyway? Did you see the way he treated us? He could have just asked nicely, he didn't have to go out of his way to scare us." she ranted

"Emma, calm down. Please. Yes, that was scary but we made it out without a scratch—"

Emma pointed to Killian, who's head was bleeding from were Ruber had thrown him.

"Do you call this not a scratch?!—"

"Emma." David cut her off.

"What?"

"Not here. Let's get back to our place."

"But—"

"Now. We'll figure it out in the morning. Let's go." David said, and then started walking towards their home.

Emma sighed, and then turned to Killian, who's hands were still bound behind him.

"Here, let me help you." she said, then she took out her pocket knife and quickly cut the ropes before Killian could flinch away her.

"Let's get you cleaned up, come on you can stay with us at the Charming's." Emma told him, and then grabbed his arm, only to steady him. Killian shuddered then twitched _again_ right out of Emma's grasp. "I'm fine, I can walk myself." he murmured, then started forward, swaying dangerously.

"Hold on Hook, let us help you. It was pretty rough in there, you look like you're about to fall over."

"I'm fine." Killian repeated

Killian pulled his shoulders back, stood up straighter then started walking after Snow and David. When they reached the house Killian gave Mary Margarat a nod of acknowledgment but when she reached out to Killian in a simple gesture of camaraderie, Emma once again saw him flinch away.

"He's still limping." David whispered softly.

"What?" Emma asked

"Killian. He is limping, look." and David pointed.

Killian must of heard, for he turned around to look at them, "I'm fine, David. Emma, stop worrying." he said, not quite meeting her in the eye.

"Emma, we can pull out the couch, if you want to sleep here tonight." David said, motioning to the couch. Emma could tell he was still worried about Hook.

"That'll be great, thanks David. Here, I'll help you." She said, walking over to the couch.

When they were done, Emma silently looked around the room and wondered how on earth they were going to convince Mr. Gold to help them. Deep down she knew Gold didnt trust them, and even though he was Henry's grandfather, he always was distant with Emma. Emma knew Gold was their only hope of getting Ruber to leave. She shuddered slightly at the thought Ruber taking over Storybrooke.

Then Emma's eyes rested on Killian's jacket laying on the one of the kitchen table chairs. She sighed, what were they going to do with him?

Emma turned to see Mary Margarat sitting at the bar, pouring herself some tea, and Killian...Killian was where? He was just here a minute ago? She turned around, searching, "Where did Killian go?"

"I told him he could shower, I think he's in the bathroom." Snow answered, and then Emma heard the shower start in the main bathroom.

She walked over and joined Snow at the counter, accepting the cup of tea she held out to her. It seemed like ages ago that Killian had stumbled through Granny's. Emma couldn't believe that it had only been a day and a half.

"Hell of a night." David sighed, exhausted. He pulled out a chair and sat down next to Snow.

"Ill toast to that." Emma smiled and raised teacup.

"Where's the baby?" David suddenly asked

Mary Margaret's eyes widened in panic. "Oh my gosh. He's still with Granny!"

"No wonder you guys keep loosing children." Emma scoffed as Snow quickly pulled out her cell phone and dialed Granny's number.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" David asked, motioning towards Snow, who was pacing back and forth on her cell.

"She saw a lot more than anybody should ever see last night."

"I don't think it's her we have to worry about." Emma answered, and David frowned.

Then they both looked at the bathroom door as they heard the shower stop..

"I'll go find him some clothes." Emma mumbled, and stood up. She headed towards the guest room. Once she had gotten the clothes-a soft black shirt and plaid pajama bottoms- she knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hook? Killian? I have some clothes for you."

There was a pause, and then a muffled "Thanks." but Killian didn't come to the door.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." but the phrase did nothing to comfort Emma. If anything, it sounded like Killian was anything _but_ fine.

Emma stared at the close door, and she was about to go inside but then she stopped. She backed away from the door, shaking her head.

 

“I can’t.” she whispered

 

“Emma?”

 

Emma felt her insides freeze as her suspicions about what they did to Killian were true, she remembered what he said earlier _They wanted-wanted me. They ripped-I tried to stop them. I didn't want it, I kept telling them no. But they wouldn't stop. I couldn't make them stop_ and she felt anger flare up inside of her. They had assaulted him, _raped him_ and didn’t even blink an eye. They had played their games with him just because they could, and now he was broken because of it. Suddenly there was a loud crash behind her, accompanied by a few screams.

 

“Emma!” David scolded

 

Emma turned around and saw a shattered vase, glass scattered across the floor.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” Emma said quickly, bending down and picking up a piece of glass.

 

“No. No it’s okay. Are you okay? What was that?” David asked, walking over to them.

 

“The vase, it just shattered.”

 

“I know. I know. It must have been my magic. I can’t control it. I’m sorry.” Emma said, feeling her face burn red. She hadnt exploded something in a while.

 

David sighed and reached out a hand to her. She took it and he pulled her in close.

 

“It’s terrible, what they did. But we can’t go loosing our heads. Not yet. We still have to defeat them.” he said

 

Emma nodded her head, “I know.”

 

“And we have to take care of Killian.”

 

“I know.”

 

“He loves you, Emma. Don’t let him down, don’t let him think his pain was for nothing. Go to him, comfort him. He needs you right now.” he said, pointing to the still closed door.

 

Emma nodded, “okay”

Then she turned back to the door.

"May I come in?" Emma asked, and after a moment she took the silence for a yes.

Killian was sitting on the floor, wrapped in one of the the charming's white robes, kneeling over the toilet and dry heaving into the bowl.

"Killian? Killian are you alright?" she asked again , coming closer.

Killian started to nod, but then froze, "I-I-I..." he stuttered, and clutched the bowl. "Emma-I- _can't-_ make it stop-ple-"

Emma knelt down next to Killian, noticing how Killian seemed to flinch away from her. She winced as she watched him vomit what little food he had eaten earlier. "It's alright. Just breathe. It'll pass, I promise." she told him, trying to be reassuring.

Killian shuddered, and then brought his head back up, pushing off the toilet and propping himself up on the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut and sat still for a moment, but then his eyes flashed opened and he gave a small smile, "I'm sorry you have to see me like this, love." he said in a raspy voice.

"No, no it's alright. It's nothing I haven't seen before. Henry's had the stomach flu enough for me to know what to do. Here, this will help." Emma said, then she stood up and wet a washcloth in the sink. Then she kneeled down and pressed it against Killian's forehead.

He flinched his head away from her touch, and Emma saw panic flash through him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you. Throwing up sucks. Hasn't anyone helped you like this to you before?"

His incredulous look said it all.

"Oh. That's alright. When I was pregnant with Henry, no was there to help me through the morning sickness either."

Emma moved again to put the wet washcloth on his forehead, and this time Killian didn't flinch away.

"Hold it here, it should help with that bruise too." Emma said, and then stood up and filled a cup with water from the sink.

"Swish and spit." she told him,

She sat down in front of him, crossing her legs and leaning up against the base of the sink.

"When did you become so motherlike, Swan." Hook asked as he put the washcloth down and took the cup from her.

Emma tilted her head, "When I became a mother. Regina created all those memories for me with Henry. I've been through plenty of flus. Or at least the fake memories make me believe I did."

Killian looked up at her, "Right. The whole second curse thing."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a few moments, and Emma didn't fail to notice how Killian was still shaking. His encounter with Ruber tonight must have been terrifying, she couldn't even imagine what it felt like to see you captors so soon after you escaped from them.

The worst part was that she _knew_ how he must have been feeling; scared, humiliated, guilty, _ashamed._ Because she too had been in the exact same spot, 15 year ago when she was just a child. She sighed, memories that she had worked so hard to suppress started boiling up to the surface.

_The pain._

_The fear._

_The hot breathe on her neck._

No. No. She was not going to go there. Not tonight, when Killian needed her to stay strong for him. She watched Killian fumble with the washcloth. He needed to hear something, something that would reassure him that he could come out of this in one piece.

He needed hope.

Emma sighed, "Let me tell you a story, about a girl I knew once who thought it was a good idea to run away from home."

Killian looked up at her, "Story time, is it?"

Emma smiled alittle, "Yeah, I guess so."

She took a deep breathe, "So this girl. She ran away from home and ended up in a not so nice place, where men did not so nice things to her. For a long time, she thought that this was the end, that she would never get over what they did to her. But then she realized that she had one thing that they could never take from her."

Emma paused, and Killian looked up at her. "What was it?"

"Hope. Hope that things would eventually get better."

"And did they?"

Emma nodded, "Yes. The girl was rescued from that terrible place by….let's say a knight in shining armor. He was her savior, and he took her to a good place, where no one would ever hurt her again. With a little bit of love, and support she was finally able to heal."

Killian looked up at her with his piercing blue eyes.

"This girl, was she okay in the end?" he asked in a thin whisper.

Emma nodded, "Yes. And you know what?"

"What?"

"What happened to her, in the end it made her stronger."

Killian nodded, but didn't say anything. He seemed to be thinking it all over.

And then finally, _finally_ he reached for her with his good hand. She took it and squeezed, and even though he didn't say it out loud she knew he was saying thanks.

888


	9. Chapter 9

888

Emma woke up to screams.

Flashes of the night before rushed by in her mind's eye: Hook on the floor of the bathroom, trembling, Ruber's mad face, the villains, the nightmares. She felt herself tremble. How were they going to fix this?

Another shout caused her to bolt up out of her bed and she fumbled to turn on the light, her hands shaking. What was going on? She saw a figure dash by her room, and then she heard more shouting.

She quickly got up out of bed and ran out into the hallway. It was still quite early in the morning, maybe six or seven.

Emma rounded the corner and her eyes befell on an incredulous sight; Mr. Gold and Killian—Hook were circling each other menacingly, in Hook's hand a knife, one of those used to cut steak and other meats—Emma had no idea how he had gotten it. In the corner, David and Snow watched with huge, round fearful eyes.

Hook was already on the verge of a panic attack from the events that had happened the night before, a fairly unstable act to be in already. Who knew what he would do now? Emma had no idea that a person such as Mr. Gold would trigger such a violent reaction.

"You. It was you. I saw you. You stood there and did NOTHING!" Hook shouted, pointing a shaking finger at Gold.

But before Emma could do anything, Hook swung the knife at Gold. They both struggled to grab it as both Emma and David circled them, trying to stop them from killing each other.

"Hey! Stop!" David shouted, standing helplessly on the sidelines as they fought. Finally, Gold threw Hook off and struggled to standing, a bruise forming underneath his eye.

"I have no idea what the pirate is talking about. What happened?" Gold asked. He straightened up, then took a step towards Hook, who was still on the floor, breathing hard and fighting for control. Emma stared at Hook, of course Gold hadnt known what Hook had gone through, that the slightest touch would trigger an almost violent reaction.

"I know you don't like me, but I'm just here to help." Gold said, leaning over and offering a hand up. Hook shuttered, and then grabbed Gold's arm and pushed him away, and Gold fought back. Hook didn't care though, he lunged at Gold with a strangled cry.

"Hook! Killian stop!" David shouted, grabbing at Hook's arm, but Hook pulled away and shoved David. Hard.

"Stop!" Hook shouted then he shot Emma a panicked look

"Please, please please stop." he pleaded, his whole body trembling. Now everyone in the room was shouting. David was trying to get a hold of Gold, Hook was trembling on the floor, Snow was standing next to the phone, her hand hovering above it, waiting for the right moment to call for help.

Emma finally stepped into the fray " Everyone stop! Stop right now! Gold, step away. Actually, go outside into the hallway-."

"But-."

" _Please_ , he doesn't know where he is! Just go! Just let him come back!"

"What?" David asked

"Let him calm down, he has to understand that we are not _them._ That we wont hurt him." Emma explained, eyes looking from Gold, to David and then to Snow.

David took a step towards them, and then kneeled down so he was at eye level with Hook.

"Killian, give me the…" David started, taking a a step towards him, but Hook gasped and held the knife up higher in a defensive position.

"Don't come any closer. Stop." he said, hands shaking "Stop, stop!" he scooted backwards until his back his the wall, his breath coming in gasps.

"Stop. Stop. No. NO!" he shouted, the knife clattered to the floor as his hands came up to grab his hair.

"Killian?" Emma asked again, taking a few steps towards her friend and kneeling down a few feet from him.

"Hook." she said, trying to bring him back, to do anything to make -whatever this was- stop. Hook gasped shuttering he clutched his hair, but then he looked up at them and his eyes were pleading.

"David, Emma-make it stop. I cant-they wont stop-I cant-please." he stuttered

"I'm fine, FINE, no. They wont stop-I can't. No no NO no!" he continued, pounding his head against the wall and pulling at his hair with each word. Emma inched closer and reached out his hand.

"Killian, stop. It's okay, everything is going to be okay-" she said

"No, no no. Stop! Stop!" The mantra continued. Emma dropped his hand and watched helplessly as her friend was once again taken over by panic.

"David…Snow, call...call someone. We have to help him."

"Okay." she heard David move away, towards the phone but Emma stayed where she was. Hook didn't seem to see her anymore, he continued the chanting and hair pulling. Then, suddenly- finally Hook reached for her, grabbing his arm and pulling her close, his eyes wide with panic.

"Emma, I-I-cant. Please, Please they won't stop. Please, make it stop." he pleaded

"Okay, we will. I promise." Emma answered, grabbing hold of Hook's other hand.

"Just stay with me. Killian, look at me." she demanded and Hook finally looked him in the eye. Emma almost flinched away at the broken soul staring back at her, and then she knew just what Ruber's men had taken. She barely heard the arrival of the medics, and then the murmurs as David and Snow told them what had happened.

A medic knelt down next to them, holding a needle.

"Its a sedative." she told Emma.

Emma nodded "Killian, listen to me." she said, and waited until their eyes locked, "Everything is going to be okay. We're going to make them stop, I promise." she said.

"Keep talking, I need to pull his shirt down." the medic asked, and Emma nodded again.

"Killian, you're going to be fine." she continued, keeping a firm grip on Hook's hand. But Hook flinched and struggled when the medic touched his arm to pull down his sleeve.

"Look at me . We're going to help you." Emma told them, and they locked eyes again. Then Emma started to sing, a song of her childhood that always comforted her at night, when the nightmares came;

"Out of my window,

looking in the night,

I can see the barges glistering lights.

Barges, I would like to go with you,

I would like to sail the ocean blue…."

A silence krept over the room as Emma sang softly.

Hook stared at her, hanging on to every word.

"Done." the medic said, pulling the needle back. Hook panicked slightly as the drugs started to kick in.

"Emma? Emma? I-I-" he stammered

"Shhh, it's going to be okay." Emma comforted him, squeezing his hand, and finally Hook's head dropped, and he slumped against the wall.

"We're going to take him to the ER." the medic told her, and Emma could tell she was nearly as shaken as he was.

"Alright. David and I will follow."

Snow, who had been standing motionless, watched silently as the medics lifted the unconscious Hook into a stretcher and pulled him away.

"Snow, you alright?" Emma asked, and Snow nodded slowly.

"You stay here with Gold. Try to get some answers out of him. He was obviously a part in this."

Snow nodded again.

"I'll do what I can. Emma, will he be okay?" she asked, her eyes glistening with unfallen tears.

"He's going to be fine, He will be fine." David answered.

"Just stay here. We'll let you know when we get there." Emma added

Snow nodded again, and then backed up until she was sitting on the couch as David and Emma exited the room slowly.

888

David drove, following the ambulance to the hospital. Emma took in a shaky breath; this was all happening so fast.

"You okay, Emma?" David asked

"Yeah, just shaken up. I've never seen-"

"I know. Me too."

"Will the doctors be able to help him?" David asked

"I hope so." Emma answered in a brittle whisper

They pulled into the parking lot and David turned off the car. The ER was quiet when they walked in. The only sound was the clicking of the nurses heals as they walked up and down the hallway.

Emma and David sat silently next to each other, neither of them knew what to say. Emma felt drained, and exhausted-like she had been traveling for months, instead of just a few days. Hook had always been the strong one, the one that held them together when things went to hell. What were they going to do now? Emma kept thinking back, to yesterday, they should have brought him here right away. Why didn't they? Hook hadn't been alright, they all knew it yet they had done nothing to help him.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the approaching Dr. Whale

They both stood up and shook hands. "How is Hook..um…Killian?" David asked.

Dr. Whale nodded, "Killian will be fine. Thank goodness you brought him in when you did. I was starting to worry." and Emma let out a breathe she didnt know she was holding.

"He is still out, but you can see him if you want. We were finally able to do a full exam, we found a few things…"

The doctor looked up from his clipboard and met Emma's eye, and Emma saw the same look that had haunted him earlier, when he had come for the house visit; a grave sad look that meant he had seen something nobody should have to see, something that Hook would never want anybody to know, ever.

Emma stood up straighter, "What did you find?" she asked, and the doctor motioned towards a private room. Emma suddenly felt that the less people knew, the better so she put his hand on David's shoulder.

"Why don't you go sit with him, I'll talk to Dr. Whale."

"But-"

"Go. He'll want someone there if he wakes up." Emma insisted.

"Room 304, on the left." Dr. Whale added

David nodded, "all right."

Emma squeezed his shoulder, and then followed Dr. Whale inside the room. He sat down in a chair, flipping through his chart.

"We found bruises, a few cracked ribs. When he wakes, we would like to conduct a S.A.E" the doctor said calmly, looking Emma directly in the eye as he spoke.

"S.A.E?" Emma asked, confused by the medical jargon.

The doctor hesitated for a moment, but then answered "A sexual assault exam. Some of the bruising indicates a forced attack. We just want to make sure everything is accounted for, and if it was a sexual attack, we are required to report it to the police."

Emma felt a cold sense of dread spread through her, and she desperately wanted this conversation to be over.

"It would be best to have him see someone, who he can talk to about what happened to him." the doctor continued, and Emma nodded.

"May I see him?" she asked. The doctor paused, he looked like he wanted to say more, but then he nodded.

"Yes. Let's go see your friend." he said, and then stood up, motioning for Emma to exit the room.

888

Killian was still sleeping when they quietly entered the room. Emma saw that Killian's wrists had been tied to the bed with cloth restraints, and his hook had been removed. David was sitting next to him in a chair he had pulled from the desk. He stood, mumbling about finding another chair as he left out the door. The doctor rambled on about bruises, cracks and dehydration but Emma wasn't listening, that shattered look Hook had given her playing on repeat in her mind's eye.

"The restraints are just a precuation. The medic team report said he had been violent before the sedative. Do you know who his attacker was?" the doctor asked, and Emma hesitated before nodding her head.

"They came through the portal. It was Ruber and that metal gang of his. We're trying to find them but we havnt been able to. Why would they hurt him?" she asked, blinking away tears as she stared at Killian

"Sometimes bad men don't need a reason." Dr. Whale said quietly, before quickly looking back at his clipboard.

"And the lacerations on his forearms, were they self inflicted or…" the doctor trailed off, and Emma shook his head again.

"No-no! Hook would never-he was attacked, and beaten!-"

"Okay, okay. I just needed to check. I am re-"

They were interrupted by a beeping, and Dr. Whale checked his pager.

"I've got to go now, if you need anything just ask on of the nurses to page me."

Emma nodded and she saw David in the doorway, holding a second chair in his hands. He stepped in as the doctor stepped out.

"Hey." David said softly

"Hi."

"I got you a chair."

"Thanks."

They both stared at the sleeping Killian, the only sound now was the quiet beeping of the monitor. David sighed, and then walked over and put the chair down next to the window.

"

David sighed, and then placed a hand lightly on the bed.

"So what do we do now?" he whispered

"We wait." Emma answered, and then walked over to sit in the chair. David sat down in the other chair. It was silent for a few moments and then they both jumped as David's cell rang.

"It's Snow." he said, then stood up and went outside to answer it. Emma watched him go, them turned to look at Hook, who was still out cold from the drugs. Emma shifted in his seat, what would it be like when he awoke? What would he even say to him? Emma had no idea.

David came back in, sticking his phone in his pocket.

"Gold used a locator spell to find where the hideout is. He found a way to trap them back into the vault. He says they have to do it before tomorrow night at sundown though, or else they will be part of them realm forever and we will never be able to vanquish them." he said.

"What time is it?" Emma asked

"Quarter to 9.."

"Then we have some time." Emma said

"Yeah."

"Go help him. You can do it. I'll stay here with Killian. He'll want someone here when he wakes up." Emma said, lightly taping the bed.

David nodded, "Okay. Will you be all right?"

Emma nodded, "Yeah. We'll be fine."

"Call me if he wakes up.

"I will."

David touched the bed, concern flooding his handsome features and then turned to leave the room.

Emma read a magazine, and the another. Even though it was late, she didn't feel tired at all. She suddenly felt antsy, so she stood up and paced for awhile, then walked over to the window and looked up at the stars. They had always been a comfort to her, even in the worst of times. She stared up at them, and her mind began to wander, back when she first realized that she was in love with Killian. How could they survive now, with one of them so broken. Killian seemed trapped inside a storm with no escape, he was battling this…this… _thing_ that happened to him and she knew if he wasn't strong enough he would succumb to the darkness and Killian Jones would be gone.

888

 


	10. Chapter 10

Emma woke with a start as a hand gently shook her shoulder she opened her eyes and saw a women dressed in a janitor's uniform, She had fallen asleep in her chair by the window. She was surprised to see that it was light outside, she had slept all through the night.

"We have to clean the room now, Go get a cup of coffee, we'll be done by the time you get back." she said kindly. Emma nodded, still fighting away sleep.

"Ho…Killian…My pirate….?” she asked, still groggy and disoriented from being jolted awake

"Your friend is fine, still asleep."

"Okay."

Emma left to find some coffee, and some breakfast. She called David, and left a voicemail, walking around the hospital almost in a trance. Vaguely wondering what she would say to Killian if he woke up. She honestly didn't know. What could you say to someone who just was raped? Was there a manual she could read for this? She didn't know, and felt as if her mind was slowly freezing. She looked back in her mind to when this had happened to her, and she realized that once they found out, _nobody_ knew what to say.. Some how “hang in there” and “it’ll get better soon” didn’t sound very comforting. Finally after circling the hospital several times, she headed back to the room. She walked through the door, and then felt himself freeze; Killian was awake.

 

Emma forced herself to smile and slowly walked over to the chair, keeping in Killian's range of sight.

"Hey Killian, how ya doing?" she asked gently.

Killian blinked a few times, still fighting off the drugs. He squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered slightly, then opened them again looking up at the ceiling. He was quiet, but Emma still found no ease at this apparent peace, Killian seemed empty. Void.

"Killian?" she asked again, and finally Killian moved his head to look at her.

"Where...?" he asked groggily

"You're in the hospital, we took you here after what happened. Do you remember?" Emma asked

Killian furrowed his brow and shook his head. Then struggled against the wrist restraints to sit up. Emma helped tilt the bed up so he could sit, being very careful not to touch him. Killian pulled his knees up to his chest and looked down at his hand, at the restraints around his wrist and then at the other arm, where the Killian had been removed and the restraint was just below his elbow.

"Those were just a precaution. When the doctor comes in, he'll take them off." Emma said

Killian didn't respond, looked at the IV attached to his left hand, eyes following the tubing up to the hospital monitors. His head moved slightly, and Emma realized that Killian had said something.

"Killian? What did you say?" she asked softly, hoping that Killian would answer.

Killian was silent for only a moment, but he then said, "Why---." he faltered and swallowed, shaking his head. He seemed to be battling with his emotions. He squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced, "Why did you bring me here?" he asked in a dry voice, barely audible.

"Why?" Emma asked

His eyes flashed open, "I said I was fine."

He twisted his wrist in the restrained, pulling against it, and Emma saw his fingers shake before he balled them into a fist.

"Killian we were worried. You weren't-weren't yourself. You haven't been yourself since Ru-" but she stopped when she saw Killian wince at the name.

"Don't…" Killian whispered, closing his eyes.

Emma sighed, she didn't know what to do, or say. Killian seemed so different now, so brittle and on the edge she just didn't know how to act.

Killian sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Killian, we weren't-you did not hurt anyone, -its just, we-you…needed help. Help we couldn't give you. I should have brought you here myself the minute you walked into Granny's but I didn't. And when Ruber's men-."

She was cut off by a brittle laugh "So now you know?" he asked, his voice a dry whisper but before Emma could answer Killian continued, "You now know that I, a grown man could not defend myself against them? That I was weak? As helpless as a child? Used?" he asked

Emma answered carefully, "Killian we know it wasn't your fault. They-they tortured you. We should have brought you here right away, we should have known. I was stupid to think that you could battle this on your own, stupid to think that just because I went through it by myself that you could too. I am so so sorry, Killian." Emma finished, looking up at her friend.

Killian shook his head. "But I'm fine. I will be fine. I just need some time to forget."

He gave a little shudder and drew his knees in closer, clutching at the blanket with his hands. Emma watched helplessly as her friend fought the memories. Killian then started speaking in a thin, quiet whisper.

"They-they threatened you guys, and your family ...I couldn't-I couldn't let them hurt you. They said they knew who you were, and where you lived. I couldn't—I needed to protect your family—you have little Neal to look after, and Henry. I wouldn't let them hurt you."

Emma felt her heart jump at the mention of Henry, and of her newborn brother but she let Killian continue.

"I-I-thought I was protecting you and I thought maybe, just maybe it was worth it, but it hurts-"

Killian broke off, resting his forehead on his knees and he twisted his hand against the restraints. Emma reached out and touched Killian's shoulder, trying to be a comfort but she dropped his hand when she felt Killian stiffen. From the vicinity of his knees, Killian continued speaking rapidly in a desperate whisper.

"I didn't want anybody to know-to know how weak I was so I tried to be okay. I tried-I've tried all day but I cant, it hurts too much."

"Killian" Emma said quietly, "You're the strongest man I know, I-"

But Killian shook his head, "No! No I'm not-you can't say that, I'm not-not anything anymore…" he started rocking back and forth, pulling harder at the restraints.

"No-No I'm not, you can't-you can't. You have to let me go, I can't stay here, please….. No no no no…" the vibrating sense of contained mayhem returning as he continued chanting softly.

"KIllian!" Emma grabbed Killian's wrist long enough to stop them from pulling at the straps but let immediately when Killian winced and pulled away. Killian continued speaking, in the same rapid, desperate voice.

"I can't stay here, I have to go away, where no one knows…"

"Killian, why?" Emma asked, how could her friend think so little of them, that they wouldn't want him around after they found out what happened.

"You are one of my best friends, do you really think I would let something like-like what was done to you change anything?" she asked

Killian scowled in disbelief, "Everything has changed! I'm changed. I'm damaged, not worth anything That's what they said."

"No Killian-you're not-"

But Emma was cut off by a sharp laugh, "I suppose I could just off myself now, they said that's all I'd be good for, when they were done with me."

"What?" Emma hissed, appalled that Killian would even think that, "Killian, no."

Killian looked up at her, and Emma forced herself not to flinch away from the shattered soul looking back at her.

"I can't be like this, don't you see? I don't deserve to be here, after-you don't need me like this."

Killian shivered and Emma stared at him, lost at what to do. She knew Killian had been hurt, they all did. KIllian had allowed those men to hurt him, torture him, making him believe that he was protecting Emma, Henry, little baby Neal, Snow and David-her family. Emma felt sudden tears in her eyes, Killian had sacrificed everything he had in order to make sure that they were safe and now he was broken because of it.

"Killian, Killian listen to me." she said, and Emma waited until Killian was looking at her to continue.

"You are the bravest, strongest man I've ever know. You're the most fearsome pirate in all the lands, you've battled the crocodile, Pan, hell, even Regina and you have always won. And best of all, you are more than just a friend to me, you are my soulmate and I wouldn't be half the person I am today if it hadn't been for you. I lo-." Emma started, but she was cut off by Killian's desperate whispers.

" Emma. Stop. Please. I can't-I'm not-I don't know, I can't…"

Emma smiled softly, she took Killian's hand in hers and squeezed tight.

"Yes you can, because you are not only the strongest, but the bravest man I know."

Killian smiled a little, and Emma saw a flash of the old Killian, but then it was gone.

"I'm sorry about all this, you must think I'm insane, I've tried-"

"Killian, we all know you've tried, no one thinks less of you."

Killian's eyes flashed up in panic. He let go of Emma's hand and once again struggled against the restraints.

"What? Does everyone know? They know-?"

"No! No Killian it's just me-"

"Who else then?" he asked

"The doctors, they did an exam but they just told me, no one else. David and Snow are still at home, they don't know anything yet, but they are worried about you. What happened with—."

"No one else needs to know." Killian interrupted in a small whisper and then his eyes flashed up and he looked her in the eye.

"Please…"

Emma reach with her hand to pat Killian's shoulder, only as a gesture of reassurance but paused when Killian flinched away from her touch. Killian then reached for her-as far as the restraint would let him- and grabbed Emma's sleeve with his fingers.

"But we are safe now. You are safe. I want to-I want to believe-I try to tell myself that it was worth it. Keeping you safe, that's all I ever wanted. I keep telling myself that it was worth it, what they took from me, but-."

"No" Emma interrupted bitterly, eyes filling with unshed tears. "It was not worth this, not my friend's body and soul."

"No" Killian whispered. They stared at each other, something settling between them. Killian left go of Emma's sleeve and grabbed her hand.

"We're gonna be okay, I promise." Emma said softly "Gold has a plan to get rid of them—Ruber and his men- tonight. It will all be over in the morning."

"And then what?" Killian asked in a whisper.

"We move on. It's the only thing we can do."

Killian nodded.

"Okay."


	11. Chapter 11

The call came at 6:05. Emma scrambled for her phone in her pocket trying not to wake Killian, who was sleeping, exhausted from a day of prodding, poking, questions and examinations. Emma stepped outside and answered, "David, please tell me something good."

"We did it, Emma. They are gone.."

Emma felt a wave of relief hit her.

"Oh thank god. How?"

"It was all Gold. He trapped them back in the box, it just kind of sucked them all up. It happened so fast, I couldn't believe it, one minute they were there and then poof! They were gone. It must have been the easiest time we have ever defeated a villain." He said, laughing a little.

"I'm glad it went well, and that no one else got hurt." Emma replied

"Yeah."

There was a pause, and then David asked "How is he?"

"He's-" Emma paused, how was Killian? Throughout the day, Killian had been quiet and composed, answering the doctors questions and allowing them to examine him-touch him without totally loosing it. To his relief, the restraints had come off once the doctors realized he wasn't a threat to himself, or anybody else.

Only Emma, who had spent time with him the day before and knew the signs could tell that it was getting harder and harder for Killian to find his way back. Killian had distanced himself from them, covering his true emotions with his irresistible charm and quick-wit comments.

"They want to keep him one more night." she said

"Okay. Do you want us to stop by?"

"Yeah, that'll be great."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

Emma hung up, and sighed in relief. Ruber was gone! Now there was one less thing to worry about. She then reentered the room and saw that Killian was awake. He had already propped himself up to a sitting position, and was struggling against the IV tubing attached to his good hand to reach a glass of water on the desk.

"Hold on, I'll get it for you. Don't get up." Emma said quickly, walking towards the desk and grabbing the glass.

"I don't understand why I have to have all of this." Killian stated, motioning with his hand. "I'm not sick. These are no better than the restraints, I hate not being able to move."

"I know, but it's just IV fluids, you were seriously dehydrated when you came in. It's only for one more night." Emma answered, handing him the water. Killian took it, and then motioned to the monitor attached to his forefinger.

"What's this thing anyway? It's just sitting there, not doing anything."

"That's the Heart Race Monitor. It's monitoring your heart beat. See on the screen?" Emma answered, pointing to the monitor that was beeping quietly. Killian took a sip of the water and leaned back in the bed.

"Why do they need to monitor my heart?" he asked.

Emma shrugged, "Hospital procedure, I guess."

"Do they always use so much tape?" Killian asked

"Yes."

"I hate not being able to move around." he repeated

Emma knew that Ruber's thugs had tied Killian down, and hurt him and she could only imagine what this must be like for Killian. She had a feeling that once he felt like he was in complete control again, he would be less brittle. At least he was now feeling comfortable enough around her to tell her what he was feeling.

Emma watched Killian glare at the monitor, like it was at fault for all of his problem and suddenly felt the urge to laugh. She smiled and let out a small giggle. Killian looked up at her.

"Are you laughing at me?"

Emma shook her head, "No, well, maybe a little. That poor heart monitor is sure getting the stink eye. Ha. I'm glad to see that you’re feeling better than before."

Killian's smile faded a little bit, "Yeah...me too."

"I can talk to the doctor, maybe once the IV fluid is done they can unhook you. Would that make you feel better?"

Killian nodded.

There was a pause, and then Emma held up her phone.

"I just got off the phone with David, they are heading back now."

Killian nodded.

"They were able to trap Ruber and his thugs back in the box that they sprung out of. Gold sealed it with magic. They are long gone, and won't be hurting anybody else." Emma said, trying not to wince when Killian flinched at Ruber's name.

"Good riddance." He said, with a forced smile.

A nurse walked in just then, holding a tray of food. "Good evening!" she said with a smile, bringing the tray over and setting it down behind Emma on the desk. "How's everything going?" she asked

Killian gave her one of his smiles, "Great, everything is going great."

She smiled back, "I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Mr. Jones. Now, be sure to eat your dinner, Dr. Whale will be in a little bit later to go over the results of your tests."

Killian nodded, not skipping a beat. "Sure thing, thank you Samantha."

The nurse smiled and then left, closing the door behind her. Emma turned to look at the tray,.

"Yummm doesn't this look good?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah, looks delicious. I'm not that hungry though." he said, shaking his head.

" _Killian._ You have to eat, the doctors are monitoring you and if you don't they wont let you leave. Don't you want to go home?" Emma asked, and Killian rolled his eyes.

"Fine, toss me the chocolate pudding."

"No." Emma shook her head

"What? Come on Emma!"

"Eat your veggies first. What am I, your mother?" Emma sighed, slightly exasperated. She picked up the tray and placed it in Killian's lap.

Despite how happy to know that Ruber was gone, she was still worried about her friend, and the long lasting damages the dark knight had inflicted. Even though Killian seemed to have bounced back a little, and seemed to be doing better than before he was still distracting them all from the real underlying issues like his refusal to eat, or meet anybody in the eye with that charming wit of his. Killian sighed loudly, then jabbed a broccoli with his fork and stuffing it in his mouth. Emma smiled and sat back down in his chair. Killian had changed so much in just a couple of days. He still carried this brittle tension, that wasn't anything like the down to earth nature Emma knew his friend to be.

"Stop looking at me like that, Emma. I'm going to be fine" Killian said putting down his fork.

"Like what? I'm not looking at you like anything. I'm just...watching you eat, which isn't creepy...when I'm your friend…." Emma trailed off.

"Like...I don't know. I don't need your pity right now. I'm going to be fine. They just spooked me, that's all. There's nothing this pirate can't handle." Killian said, picking up his fork again and stabbing another broccoli with so much force that-

"You've got chocolate pudding on your arm." Emma said, pointing at the brown smudges, standing out against the white of the bandages that still covered the cuts and bruises from before.

"Oh, that doesn't look good, does it?" Killian asked, looking around for a napkin. Emma turned around and grabbed a tissue from the desk.

"Here." she said, reaching over to dab at the spot. Killian flinched at the sudden close contact and took in a sharp breath. Emma immediately pulled her arm away and leaned back.

"Sorry, sorry I forgot-"

"No no don't apologize love. It's my fault." Killian squeezed his eyes shut, "I'm being silly, I'm sorry. I don't know why-" he trailed off and opened his eyes, staring at the dinner tray.

"You're not being silly." Emma whispered and Killian looked up at him.

"Thanks for being here, Emma. I know it hasn't been easy."

"I will always be here for you, Killian. You know that." Emma said, smiling at his friend.

"Are Emma and Killian going to get married?" a whispered voice awkwardly asked, floating in from the doorway. Emma looked up and saw Henry, Snow and David standing by the door. Henry was looking at David, a very serious expression on his face and David was trying not to laugh.

"No no, Henry. They are just friends."

"But he just said-"

"That's what friends do. We look out for each other."

"Like a husband and wife?"

"Sure….Hey Emma!" David said brightly giving him a little wave and walking over, Henry and Snow following close at his heels. Emma smiled back and nodded.

"Hey you guys. How'd everything go?" he asked

"All went down smoothly. They’ll never be returning to Storybrook every again." David said then turned to Killian, touching the bed softly.

"Hey Killian, how ya doin'?" he asked

Emma saw Killian's hand tremble before he balled it into a fist. Something had been triggered, was it the touch or-Emma though back to yesterday, and what Killian had said to her about Ruber's men, and Killian's comments about being connected to the IV _._ Then it hit her; there were _t_ oo many people standing over him when he couldn't get away. Maybe if she got them all to sit down, Killian would feel more comfortable.

"Here, there are some chairs here. Let's sit, you guys must be tired." Emma said, pointing to the three hospital chairs. She sat in one, David took another and sat, and Snow sat down in the other one. Henry though, sat down on the floor. He pulled out his cell phone and started playing Angry Birds.

The minute they all sat, Emma saw the tension in Killian's shoulders leave as he let out a breath.

"I'm doing alright." Killian answered after a few more moments of silence, and then he stared down at his tray.

David and Emma stared at each other, and then at Killian. Nothing like this had ever happened to them before and Emma suddenly realized that David—the one who always had all the answers—was almost as lost as she was. She knew that this was the first time he had to deal with something like this. Men preying on other men didn't happen in the Enchanted Forest. Surely, the concept of rape was not unknown to him but it was something that he must have only heard on the news, or in stories usually followed by words like "murdered" and "kidnapped".. Based on the look David was giving her, he never would he have thought that something like this would happen to someone he knew, and cared about dearly. But he also looked determined try to help Killian as much as he could.

Emma on the other hand, _had_ been through something like this before and she _knew_ how Killian felt because she had felt the same way. But she didn't want to bring it up now, especially with her father—David—in the same room.

"So" David started, looking at Killian then at Emma.

"How did today go? Did the doctors help…?" he asked awkwardly.

Killian smiled and held up the pudding, "Oh yeah, it's been great here. All the free pudding in the world." he said, not quite looking David in the eye.

"We're gonna get out of here soon. Dr. Whale said they will release us tomorrow, then we can finally go home." Emma added with a smile.

There was more awkward silence, and then they all jumped at the sudden knock at the door, but it was just Dr. Whale coming by to check in on them.

"Good evening everyone." he said, motioning to David, Snow and Henry.

Dr. Johnson pointed to his clipboard, "I have the results of the tests were preformed today. I'd like to go over them with you if that's alright." He said softly, looking up at Killian.

Killian nodded quietly, "Okay." he said faintly.

"We can go, Killian if you want to speak with him privately." David said motioning towards Henry, and then the door. Killian nodded again, looking down at his hands. Emma stood up, knowing that Killian wouldn't want her, or anybody hear what the doctor had to say.

"We'll be right outside, Killian. If you need anything, please don't hesitate-"

"I know" Killian answered, eyes flashing up.

"Alright, come on Snow, Henry lets go get something to eat." David said, ushering Snow and Henry out. Emma nodded at Killian and followed behind them.

888


	12. Chapter 12

“How much do you know?” David asked, “Do you know what they did to him?”

They were sitting in the hospital cafe, eating cold panninis and trying not to think too much about what their friend had gone through. Henry and Snow had left, Henry was going to help her prepare the quest bedroom for Killian. 

Emma hesitated, but then decided that it wasn't worth hiding the truth from David. He would find out eventually.

“I know enough to know that we are in way over our heads” she answered with a wince.

“What do you mean?” David asked, brow furrowed in concern.

“Killian was assaulted—sexually, but it was more than that. They threatened him, threatened to hurt us—me—you—our family if he didn't let them play their….their games.” Emma sighed, and then looked up at David.

“He let them hurt him because he thought he was protecting us. They took advantage of our friendship, manipulated him into thinking that this was the only way. I—-.” Emma broke off when she heard her voice crack and felt her eyes burn.

“I—don’t know if I can live with that. He sacrificed so much. He has to get better, Dad. I don’t know if I can live with myself if he doesn't” she said, shaking her head.

“Oh no.” David said softly, “He’s always been there for us, always with an answer—a solution. Always protecting us. I can’t believe they did that to him.” he said, suddenly angry, he banged his hand on the table and making Emma jump. 

“God damn it! Those bastards. If I ever come back to Storybrook I swear I’m going to kill them. Every last one of them!” He said

“Shhhh. David. I know—I’m livid too, but there’s nothing we can do. Gold already took care of them. We’re lucky-—.”

“Lucky?” David sneered, “You call this luck. Look around you, we’re in a fucking hospital because that crazy fucking nutjob attacked—raped our best pirate…..friend-” he stammered with his hands. 

Emma closed his eyes, “I know. I know, David. There is nothing fair about it.”

“Damn it all.” He banged his hands against the table again, this time getting a glare from one of the nurses passing by.

“You need to calm down, David. I know you are upset. We all are but we can’t do this now. Not when Killian needs us the most, we need to be his anchor. We’re the only ones he trusts—”

“But he still won’t let us touch him. He’s still so scared.” David said, desperation lacing his voice.

“I know, I know. He won’t let anybody touch him, it’s not just us. I think it’s just a reaction. They beat him, and hurt him when he was most vulnerable and that’s bound to leave some scars.”

“At our house, before the paramedics showed up, it was like he wasn't even seeing us. He didn't know where he was, or who he was talking to.” David said, voice shaking a little. 

“I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“I know, I know. Sometimes, the doctor said that sometimes when someone has gone through a traumatic event, they experience flashbacks, like they are reliving it. Its called PTSD--post traumatic stress disorder.” Emma tried to explain, feeling like she was doing a bad job of it.

“Is that what he has? Because of happened to him?” David asked,

“I think so.” Emma answered honestly.

David nodded, “Will he get better?” he asked

“Yes, of course he will. We just have to be there for him. We’ll stay with him, make sure he’s not alone.” Emma said

“And, I know he gets scared but—I noticed yesterday--I now know how to pull him back, when the flashbacks come.” Emma added, trying and failing to find the right words to describe what he was trying to say.

David nodded, “Right. Can they help him here? It’s best if he saw someone, right?”

“I think so. But we need to go home first, he needs to get out of this place, he hates it as much as we do. Once we’re home it will all make sense.”

“Right. Thanks for being with him, I’m sorry I wasn't much of a help back at the hotel. I didn't know what to do, or say--”

“Its okay, David. I didn't know either, he- I still don't know what I’m doing.” Emma sighed

Emma checked his watch, “It’s been about half an hour, should we go back to the room now?”

David nodded silently.

“Will you be okay? I know you’re upset but, you can’t say anything to Killian about Ruber, or show how upset you are. He needs us to be his rock, he has to know that he can trust us.” Emma said seriously. 

David nodded, “I’ll be fine. I—I don’t know what I should say though—”

“Just be there for him. And don’t mention Ruber…or Camlot…or what happened last night.”  
“Right. Or touch him.”

“Or touch him.” Emma confirmed. 

Emma sighed as they walked back. What was going to happen now? Would Killan ever heal?

888


	13. Chapter 13

888

 

“I’m not sick.”

 

“I know Killian, just hold on--”

 

“I don't need to be pushed around like some old person. Please, just let me walk!” Killian protested grumpily as Emma rolled him down the hospital hallway in a wheelchair.

 

“It’s hospital policy, when we’re at the car you can. I promise.” Emma said, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. This was like the fifth time Killian had complained about the chair. Emma felt kinda bad; there was no reason why Killian shouldn't be walking, but rules were rules. Killian was doing it again-hiding his anxiety by covering it with sarcastic and witty comments.

 

 

They arrived at the Charming’s a few minutes later, tired and exhausted from well, everythin; the hospital, the lack of sleep, fighting ruber. Emma was very grateful to be home.. David pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. A heavy silence fell over the three of them, nothing like this had ever happened before. Emma sighed softly, she still couldn't get that shattered look Killian had given her-the one before the medic had arrived-out of her minds eye. What would happen now, with one of them returning so broken?

 

“Here we are.” David said quietly

 

“Thanks, Dad.” Emma answered.

 

Killian unbuckled his seatbelt, and Emma saw his hand shaking slightly. Would he ever trust them again?

 

“You ready, Killian?” Emma asked softly, and she saw Killian nod. Killian looked at David, and then turned around to look at Emma.

 

“Thanks. For-for everything.” he murmured softly

 

“We just want to make sure you’re alright.” Emma answered. Outside the car, he saw Snow holding Neal, waiting on the porch for them.

 

Emma opened the car door and stepping out of the car. She opened Killian’s door for him. Emma heard Killian say goodnight to David as he got their bags from the trunk. Killian started to reach for his but Emma shook her head.

 

“It’s alright, I’ve got it.” she said

 

“Thanks”

 

They walked inside with the heavy silence still over them. Emma couldn’t help but notice that Killian was still limping.

Snow put the baby down in his crib and then smiled at them. Emma could tell she really didn’t know what to say, or how to act. She kept fidgeting with her scarf.

“How was the trip home?” Snow asked

Emma shrugged, “Not too bad.”

“That’s good.”

More silence.

Snow sighed, “Alright. I bet you guys are tired. Killian, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. The guest bedroom is up the stairs and to the left.” she said, pointing up the stairs. Killian nodded, “Thanks, Snow.”

 

Killian looked at Emma, “Is it alright if I--”

 

Emma nodded, “Of course, we all had a long day. Just give us a shout if you need anything.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

And Killian walked towards the stairs. Emma watched him walk up, wincing as a feeling of helplessness overewelemd her. What were they going to do now? He was home, yes, but was he healed? No. he may never get better. Emma silently cursed Ruber and his men and suddenly wished she had been there when Gold had cast them back into the box. She wanted to see the fear in their eyes as they were shut back into their prison, to watch them suffer for what they did to Killian.

 

Suddenly she felt a warm embrace and turned to see that Snow was hugging her, “Everything is going to be okay. We will fix all of this, don't worry.” she whispered into her ear.

 

“I know, Mom. It’s just…I can’t--can’t see him like this.”

 

“I know, I know. It will get better, I promise.”

 

Emma looked up at Snow, “How?, I have no idea how to fix any of this. I don't know how to deal with sexual assault or PTSD. I don't even know how to talk about it.”

 

“Shh, its alright. Yes you do, honey. You’ve gotten this far, haven't you?”

 

Emma shrugged, “I don't know. He still flinches whenever anybody-myself included- tries to touch him. And he still gets lost and I barely know how to bring him back.”

 

“What do you mean?” Snow asked

 

“He get these I-don't-know _flashbacks_ and its like he’s not even seeing us anymore. Like he’s back with those men. I try, I’ve been trying to help him but I just don't know if I am or not.”

 

“I’m sure you are. Don't worry, Emma. You've gotten this far, don’t give up now. In the morning, I can make a few calls. Maybe get him to someone who can help.” she asked

“Can anyone help him? I mean no one helped me when uhh I was in the foster system. It was hard to get to a counselor. That’s all I meant. But we have Dr. Hopper, right?” she said quickly

Snow’s brow furrowed, but if she had questions about Emma’s time in the foster care system she kept them to herself.

 

 

“Everything will be alright, sweetie. We’ll work it out though. Don't worry. Killian can stay here as long as he wants. We will make everything better, I promise.” Snow said, grabbing her hand and squeezing tight.

 

Emma smiled, “Thanks for being so understanding.”

 

Lauren kissed him on the forehead, “That’s what we do. We’re a family. All of us. Now, get some rest. You've had a long day.”

 

888

 

Over the next few days, Killian continued to cover his true emotions with his charming smile and wit, but Emma could tell he was still struggling with what had happened to him. Killian often would retreat to the guest bedroom whenever he could and answer their questions with vague, one word sentences. Emma tried his best to be a comfort, she even turned to the dictionary looking up _violated, molested, assault, crime, nonconsensual_ but they were just words to her, there were no answers. None of it helped. Deep down she knew that Killian wasn't getting better. He needed help, help that neither Emma nor her family could provide.

888

Emma stared at the closed door, it had been exactly a week since Killian had been in the hospital and they hadn’t seen much improvement. David and her had decided to try to get Killian to Dr. Hopper, hoping that maybe the psychologist could help him. She knew Killian was sensitive about that though; he didn’t want anyone to see him as being weak.

 

Emma held up her hand to knock, pausing slightly. She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to see that broken expression in her friends eyes, or hear the brittleness in his voice again but she needed to talk to Killian. Emma raised her hand but before she could knock the door opened revealing Killian full dressed , and with packed bags? Killian jumped when he saw Emma and took a couple of steps back, but he didn't drop the bags.

 

“Hey Emma, you scared me.” Killian said

 

“I was just coming to talk to you. What’s with the bags, are you going somewhere?” Emma asked

 

“Yeah...um I was thinking I could go um...home…back to my room at Granny’s, I don’t want overstay.” Killian lied, shifting back and forth on his feet.

 

“Really? You know you're welcome to stay here as long as you want.” Emma answered, stepping into the room. Killian flinched slightly, and Emma sensed the brittle disharmony, the feeling that she knew too well cloak over the room as Killian dropped the bag at his feet and crossed his arms over his chest to conceal their shaking.

 

“ Emma, _please._ I can’t do this. I have to go, away. Far away where no one knows.” he said, entire body trembling. Emma stared at her friend, in all the years that he knew Killian, she never thought Killian as one to give up on something.

 

“What?” Emma asked

 

“I can’t stay. I cant keep pretending all of this didn't happen. It still hurts, it won’t stop. It’ll never stop. I can’t do this, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t….” Killian started pacing back and forth rapidly as panic took over.

 

“Killian! Killian stop, please just listen to me.” Emma said, walking over to Killian and grabbing his shoulders.

 

“Please, calm down. I need to ta--”

 

But Killian jerked out of her grip and backed up away from her, face panic stricken.

 

“ Please, please don’t touch me! Please please don't” he half shouted, half pleaded.

 

Emma took a couple steps back. “Okay, okay Killian. I’m sorry.” she said, trying to remain calm.

 

Killian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to shout.” he said

 

“it’s alright.” Emma said, she motioned towards the bed, “Please, sit. I want to talk to you about something.” he asked

 

Killian nodded, “Okay.” He sat down on the bed with a shaky breathe, and Emma pulled over the computer chair and sat. She took a deep breath, slightly shattered by the way Killian had reacted to her touch.

 

Killian sighed and put his head in his hands, “What am I going to do?” he asked in a thin whisper.

 

“Well, that’s why I came to talk to you. Snow, David and I want to help, we think you should make an appointment with Dr. Hopper, it’s--.”

 

But Killian cut her off, shaking his head, “I’m not sick, and I’m not crazy.”

 

“I know. I know your not. But he can help you, please---.”

 

“Emma, I don’t need help. I just need time. I’ll be fine. I am fine.” Killian argued, fiddling with his hook and not looking her in the eye.

 

 

“Killian. It’s okay to ask for help. I wish I had sooner, eventually I was able to but by then it was too late. The damage was already done.” She said

 

Killian looked up at her.

 

Emma continued, “After what happened, I was distraught. I didn't want to look anybody in the eye ever again. And yes, I did get better over time but it took a long, long time for me to really trust people again. I really wish I had spoken up and asked for help sooner.”

 

“I’m sorry Emma, I forgot that you were too-- you’ve handled it so much better than me.”

 

Emma nodded. There were no nice words for what had happened to her. It hadn't been fair, none of it.

 

“It wasn't easy, it hasn't been easy. I still get nightmares sometimes, but you know what really helped me?” Emma asked

 

“What?”

 

“Being able to talk about it.”

 

Killian shook his head, “I--I’m just not ready, Emma. Thank you though.”

 

They looked at each other, and Emma fought the urge to hug her friend. That’s what friends did, after an emotional moment. They hugged it out, offered some sort of physical comfort. But Emma couldn't, she knew Killian would freak out again and that hurt her more than anything else.

 

“Emma? What’s wrong?” Killian asked, Emma must have had an odd expression on her face.

 

“It’s nothing, Kinda dumb, actually. I wish I could hug you.” she said, almost sheepishly.

 

“Oh. Emma, I’m sorry. I really have to get over that, don't I?” Killian said

 

“No, no it’s okay. Only when you're ready.” Emma answered

 

Killian paused for a moment, and then reached out and touched Emma’s knee. Emma looked up, well aware of how difficult it was for Killian to initiate contact and felt a pang of guilt as she remembered what Killian had given up in order to protect her. They needed to fix this; Killian needed to get better because that was the only way Emma would ever be able to forgive herself for what happened

 

“Thanks for everything, Emma. I really appreciate it. I know I’ve said that millions of times, but I do mean it.” Killian said

 

Emma smiled and nodded her head.

 

“Your welcome.”


	14. Chapter 14

One Week Later:

 

When Emma opened her door and stepped into the house, she was surprised to see David, and Snow standing in the living room. She had left to run some errands that morning, and was returning with the weeks groceries in her arms. Today was also the first day Killian had been left by himself. She had hoped he would be okay, but now she felt her chest sink as she looked at the saddened expression on her parent’s faces.

 

“Hey, guys?” Emma asked, a little confused.

 

“Hey Emma. We need to talk.” David said, Snow sniffed loudly and Emma realized she was crying.

 

“Oh my god, what happened. Are you okay? Is everyone okay?” Emma asked, running over to them.

 

“It’s Killian…”

 

“Oh no. What happened.” Emma said, coming over and sitting down next to Snow.

 

“Snow caught Killian in the bathroom this morning, with a razor--to his wrists.” David said softly, once Emma had sat down.

 

“What? Is he okay?” Emma asked, taken aback by the news.

 

“She was able to stop him before he cut too deep.” David answered for Snow, who was now crying into David’s shoulder.

 

“She didn't know what to do. She didn’t want to worry you, so she called me.” David explained, and then he broke off.

 

“Is Killian okay? Did you take him to the hospital?” Emma asked, but David shook his head.

 

“The cuts, they were shallow. Like--like the other ones we saw.”

 

“Like the ones that Ruber’s men--?”

 

David shook his head, “But I don't think they did that to him.”

 

“Oh.” Emma said,

 

“Why? Why would he do that?” Emma asked

 

David shook his head, “We don't know. He wouldn't say anything--except that he was just trying to make them stop. I don’t know what that means though, he wasn't making much sense. Emma I--I think--we’re way over our heads here. I thought he would get better on his own, but he’s not.” David said.

 

Emma shook her head. “I don't know. Where is he now?”

 

“Upstairs in the guest bedroom.”

 

“You know what I think we should do?” David asked

 

“What?”

 

“Stage an intervention. Maybe once he sees that we all support him, he’ll get some help and go see Dr. Hopper.” David said.

 

Emma paused, wouldn't an intervention make things worse?

 

“Not--not like a real one. More like, a gathering of friends to show support. He needs to know he can trust us, that we’re not going to hurt him.” David said quickly, sensing Emma’s hesitation.

 

“He still wont let anybody touch him.” Emma whispered.

 

They had all treaded carefully around Killian these past few days, but he still flinched at the slightest touch, still winced and froze when someone approached him too fast. Yet, he said he was fine, that he would get over it and be okay. But Killian wasn't okay. He was never going to be okay until he got help. Would he accept it though? If only he would throw away his pride and admit that he needed help.

 

Emma sighed. Maybe an intervention would help Killian. It was worth a shot, anyway.

 

“When do you want to do it?” Emma asked

 

“Tomorrow.” David said, “He has taken this too far. He needs help, more help than we can give him. He keeps saying he’ll get better on his own, but I don’t think he will. He needs help.”

 

Emma nodded, “I’ll give Dr. Hopper a call tomorrow and make an appointment. Do you think he’ll agree to see him?”

 

David shrugged, “I dunno. I hope so. Today--today was so scary.”

 

“Was he trying to--” Emma asked but David sKillian his head.

 

“No, I don't think so. He kept saying he was trying to make them stop--that he couldn't make them stop. I don't understand it.” David answered, gripping his drink.

 

Emma nodded, “I think I do.” she said softly

 

“What?”

 

“This thing he’s been saying _to make them stop_ , this mantra—I think I know-understand- what it is.” Emma said after a few moments,

 

“He has all these memories, memories that he can’t seem to forget of what they did to him. And I think he gets caught up in them, and that frightens him more than anything else. He wants to forget them, to pretend like it never happened but they keep coming back. And he keeps living and reliving the moments when those men were hurting him and it’s killing him. I know this—“ Emma broke off and took a breathe, “I know this because that’s how I felt after I was assaulted. I _knew_ what _he_ had done, and I was ashamed by it but it was all I could think about. I would have done anything to make those thoughts go away and that really scared me. So I got help. Simple as that.” she said, looking at her parents.

 

“Emma? You” Snow asked faintly, and Emma nodded her head.

“It was a long time ago.”

 

“Oh Emma. I am so sorry.” Snow said, she made a motion to reach for Emma, but then stopped, her hand in the hair. Emma stepped towards her mother and took her hand.

“It’s okay. I’m okay now.” She said, and she felt her eyes well up with tears.

 

David looked at her, “I didn’t know….. you never said anything.”

 

“I didn’t want you guys to feel guilty. You did what you had to do. You couldn’t have stopped it. Anyway, I don’t let what happened in the past define who I am.” Emma said, and she reached towards David. He took her hand.

 

“I’m glad I have you both now though.”

 

“Me too.” Snow replied.

 

“I know this is scary for you, it has been for all of us, but we have to stay strong now, for Killian. He sacrificed so much for us. We can’t loose him now.” she said. Snow looked at her with glassy eyes.

 

“Can you talk to him, maybe he’ll open up to me and admit he needs help. If he doesn't, then we can do the intervention.” she said, eyes darting back and forth.

 

Emma nodded, “Of course I will.”

 

“He seems most comfortable with you, maybe he’ll talk to you. We weren't able to get him to say much.” David said

 

Emma frowned. Killian not talking? That wasn't a good sign at all, if anything, it meant that Killian had given up on getting better. Emma wouldn't let that happen. Not to Killian, who she knew had the courage to fight through this. Deep down Emma knew that Killian hadn’t been trying to end his life. Killian had fought so hard to stay alive, so hard to protect them that it just didn't make sense for him to leave now.

 

Emma finally nodded, “I’ll talk with him.”

 

888

 

The guest bed was neatly made up with antique-looking blue blankets and lots of bird photos framed on the wall. Emma usually never went into the Charming’s guest bedroom, why need to when she had her own? Killian was not in the bed, but sitting up in a straight-backed chair by the window. He looked up when Emma knocked on the door casement.

 

“Hey Emma.” he said in a soft voice, so soft that Emma wasn't sure if she had actually heard it or not.

 

“Hi, I came to see how you were doing.” Emma said softly

 

Killian smiled slightly, and then got up from the chair and offered it to Emma and sat on the bed. Emma didn't think Killian had been doing anything at all, just sitting with his hand in his lap, she noticed that his hook wasn’t there. He was wearing a blue short sleeved overlarge shirt-probably one of David’s- and Emma could plainly see the white bandages on her friend’s wrists and forearms. Killian must have noticed his gaze, for his crossed his arms in front of him, trying to conceal them.

 

“You don’t have to hide from me, Killian. I understand.” Emma said

 

Killian blinked a few times, eyes glassy, “I’m sorry.” he murmured softly.

 

Emma shook his head, “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

 

The looked at each other for a second, then looked at other things in the room. He didn't deserve to be here, trapped like a prisoner with white bandages on his wrists and fear in his heart. Emma didn’t know why she had thought she would have the nerve to do this, but she knew she needed to. Killian needed to know that he had support.

“How are you feeling now? Are you feeling better? “

 

Emma asked out of courtesy. Of course Killian wasn't okay, he wasn't getting better and they both knew it.

Killian gave her an incredulous look and scoffed.

 

“Sorry. Dumb question.”

 

She paused for a moment, then continued,

 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Emma said

 

“I think what you did was one of the bravest things anyone had ever done. I wouldn't have been able to do it. I’ve been thinking it over in my head, and if I had been there, and if they had been hurting me and threatening me. I would not have been able to hold on. I would have given up. I’m a coward Killian, and that’s why I look up to you. You were so brave, braver than most men I know. I just wanted you to know that.”

 

Killian nodded then looked away again, but Emma saw a slight glimmer in her friend. Something deep down was defrosting, slowly but surely. Feeling hopeful, Emma kept talking.

“I guess the main thing I came up here to tell you is, I don’t know how you go on, but I really hope you’ll keep doing it. That you won’t give up hope. Don’t let what you sacrificed die in vain. Keep fighting it—them. I know you can win,” Emma continued.

 

“Please stay strong, Killian. For us. For me. I would hate to loose you. You mean so much to me and I…..I love you.” she finished, looking up at his friend. Killian had tears in his eyes, but that seemed better somehow than nothing at all.

 

“It’s terrible, what you lost,” Emma said

 

“I know exactly how you feel because I lost it too. But it’s also true that some people never have anything to lose, and I think that’s got to be so much worse.” Emma finished, looking up at his friend.

 

They sat there for a long time, and then Emma finally said, “I never got that chance to say thank you, for what you did. ”

 

Then she went over and took one of the hands in his lap and held it for a second and for the first time Killian didn't flinch away but this didn't give Emma any sense of relief. Killian seems empty, void like nobody was home. He was giving up, loosing his grip on reality and Emma would not let her friend go under. Emma walked back down the stairs and saw that Snow, and David we waiting in the living room. He sighed, and then took a deep breathe.

 

“Let’s do it. Tomorrow.”


	15. Chapter 15

Emma strummed her thumbs against the steering wheel as she nervously waited for the light to turn green. Killian sat silently in the passenger seat, he hadn't spoken much since they had found him, and it was unnerving for Emma to see her friend so quiet.

 

They had thought it would be best for Killian to have some down time before the intervention, so Emma offered to take him to the Pier for the morning. Being next to the sea always seemed to calm him down. Emma hoped that this trip would be like that, to give Killian that safe, sanctuary feeling again before things got too out of control.

 

The light turned green and Emma turned into the Pier parking lot and found a spot. She turned off the car and fiddled with her keys, not really knowing what to say. Everything she felt like saying felt either scripted or cliche. She wished Killian would just talk to her. Wasn’t that what friends were supposed to do? Share each other’s burdens?

 

“Here we are.” Emma said, hoping to break the silence.

 

Killian nodded slightly, but didn't say anything.

 

“I was thinking we could walk down to the end of the pier and see that cement boat. That sound good?” Emma continued

 

“Sure, sounds great.” Killian answered brightly, and gave Emma a small forced smile.

 

“Remember when I dared David to go out onto it?” Emma asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

 

Killian laughed, “And he almost got bitten by the pelican? Yeah.”

 

“I think that was the last time we were able to get him to go near the pier.”

 

They got out of the car and started heading towards the beach. Despite the sunny day Killian still wore a dark long sleeved shirt, and his leather jacket over it. He pulled the sleeves over the white bandages on his wrists and then crossed his arms in front of him.

 

When they reached the sand, Emma bent down to take off her shoes and socks. She watched as Killian did the same, wincing as he bent over. Once his shoes were off, Emma stepped forward onto the beach. It was a quiet morning, and they were the only ones there. Emma heard Killian take in a deep breath, and watched as he turned his head up towards the sun and smiled slightly. They continued to walk, and Emma felt the tension between them melt and turn into comfortable silence.

 

Killian reached the surf first, and let the waves wash over his feet and ankles, despite the chilly morning air. Emma stood beside his friend and watched the waves crash on the shore. Seagulls cawed up in the sky, and a fog horn blared off in the distance. The scene was peaceful.

 

And finally, _finally_ Killian reached for her intertwining his good hand with hers.

 

“Thank you, Emma. For—for everything—for not giving up on me. I know this hasn't been easy for you. And….and thank you for yesterday. You were the only one who didn't freak out, who didn’t…..ask me why I did it or push me for an answer. And I am so, so grateful. I don't know how I’m ever going to repay you.”

 

Emma smiled, and carefully—squeezed his hand gently. Killian didn't flinch away from her.

 

“I’ll always be there for you, Killian. You know that. We—Myself, David, Snow, even Henry— will always be there to support you. No matter what. We love you, and would never want to loose you.”

 

There was a moment of silence, the only sounds the gulls and the waves. Killian let go of Emma’s shoulder, but did not step away from Emma’s touch. Killian sniffed softly, and Emma realized that his eyes were glassy.

 

“I don’t want to leave.” he said softly.

 

Emma smiled, “You won’t.”

_888_

Emma felt slightly nervous as she pulled the car into the Charming’s driveway. They had decided to make it a semi-formal intervention, nothing too intense because they didn’t want to scare Killian away.. Their time at the beach had been good for Killian now he seemed present and settled. Emma turned off the car, they had decided earlier that it would be okay for Emma to tell Killian what was coming. She fiddled with her keys, not really knowing what to say.

 

“Killian, I have to tell you something.” She started

 

Killian looked up, “Yes?” he asked

 

“When we go inside, there are going to be some people there waiting for us--”

 

“What? What’s going on?”

 

“Not just people, friends. Snow, Henry, David, and Regina. We are worried about you, we just want you to get better.” Emma said. Regina had shown up at the door that morning, scolding them for not telling her sooner and promising to help if she could.

 

“But I am--I will. You don't have to worry about me.” Killian protested, giving Emma a fake smile.

 

“We’re your friends, Killian. We just want you to get better.” Emma repeated, hoping that Killian would agree to just listen to them.

 

“I know.”

 

“You gave us all quite a scare, yesterday.” Emma said softly

 

“I know. I know, I’m sorry--I am so sorry. I just thought--just thought it would help me….forget. But I cant. _They_ won’t stop. _It wont stop._ ” Killian whispered, and Emma saw his fingers shaking as they traced over the bandages under his sleeves.

 

“If you come inside, and listen to what we have to say, I promise we will make them stop.” Emma said.

 

Killian shut his eyes and took a trembling breath.

 

“Whenever you're ready to go in. Nobody’s rushing you.” Emma added

 

Killian paused for a few seconds, and then he nodded.

 

They both got out of the car, and Killian motioned for Emma to walk in first. Emma led the way through the kitchen and to the living room, where David, Snow, Henry and Regina were sitting. She heard Killian take in a couple of shaky breathes, and she turned towards her friend.

 

“You alright?” she asked

 

Killian nodded again but didn't look Emma in the eye. When they entered the living room, they were greeted warmly by their friends. Regina stood up and smiled bravely. Emma knew this was hard for her. It was for everyone.

 

“ Hello, Killian. We would like to talk to you about some things. Come sit down.” Regina said, motioning for them to come sit on the couch.

 

There were murmurs of “Hey Killian” from the others as Killian settled himself in one of the solitary chairs. Emma walked past them and sat on the loveseat to their left with David and Henry. Snow sat down next to them in the rocking chair by the fireplace. She rocked back and forth with the sleeping Neal in her arms nervously, looking at the group, eyes begging for one of them to start.

 

A heavy blanket of silence fell over the group. None of them could believe that they were here, that such a such a violent crime had happened to them--to Killian.

 

David cleared his through, and then turned to look at Killian.

 

“Killian, we have all gathered here today to talk to you about--about what happened with Ruber, and how we want to fix it.”

 

Emma saw Killian’s back stiffen at the mention of Ruber. They had all been careful, this past week, to not mention Ruber or his men, hoping that Killian would get better on his own if they just pretended that it never happened. But he didn't, Emma couldn't even imagine that terror Snow had felt when she found Killian with that knife to his arm. This had spiraled wildly out of control and Emma blamed herself. If only she had listened to the doctors at the hospital and allowed them to check Killian into the psychiatric ward, if only she had listened to David and had gotten help sooner, maybe none of this would have happened.

 

David sighed a little, but then continued. “We know--we know you were hurt, and we know that we promised you we wouldn't ask you about it and give you time to heal on your own but…. now it’s time we got you professional help.”

 

Killian nodded, but didn’t say anything. He stared down at his hands, still and silent. Then Snow pulled out her letter. She shift in her seat so she was facing Killian, and then started to read;

 

“It’s been a while now, and you are not getting better. You still flinch away at the slightest touch, and tremble and shake at the slightest noise. Please, let us help you get better. I know you say you’re handling it on your own but I know now you need help. Please Killian, there are doctors, counselors who specialize in this kind of trauma. If you agree to see one I promise you will get better. I promise all the negative things you are feeling will go away.” Snow said looking up at Killian, her hand reached out and hovered over his knee, not quite touching.

 

“I--I--” Killian started and then broke off, balling his hands into fists to keep them from shaking. “I _can’t_ even talk about what happened with you, how can I open up to someone I don't know _?_ It’s too--too much. I can’t let them start again, they wont stop--” he broke off again with a wince.

 

Emma could tell this wasn't helping Killian, he was getting on the edge again, fighting against the memories that plagued him. He needed to know be able to feel safe with them here, and this wasn't helping.

 

“Killian. Do you know _Descent into Hell?”_ Emma asked, suddenly remembering the novel that she had seen on the pirate’s nightstand a few weeks ago. She honestly never saw him as a literary fan, but she was pleasantly surprised. She had read the book too when she was in high school, and the message had always stuck with her. A certain part stuck out in Emma’s mind; Pauline Anstruther, the heroine of the novel, lived in fear of meeting her own [doppelgänger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppelg%C3%A4nger), which has appeared to her throughout her life. But Stanhope, in an action central to the author's own theology, took the burden of her fears upon himself—Williams called this The Doctrine of Substituted Love—and it enabled Pauline, at long last, to face her true self.

 

Killian gave her an incredulous look, but then answered “by Charles Williams?”

 

Emma smiled, “Yes. Haven't you heard it said that we ought to bear each other’s burdens?” Emma said, quoting directly from the novel. Killian shook his head, but he seemed to be thinking it over.

 

“Remember what happened after Pauline told Stanhope? She faced her fears, and conquered the demons haunting her. All because she knew Stanhope was holding her fear for her.” Emma continued, hoping that this slight distraction would calm Killian down enough for him to hear what they were saying. The others listened quietly, Emma wasn't sure if they had read-or ever heard of- Williams, but she knew they trusted her.

 

“Let us take this burden from you. Let us help you, please Killian..” Emma asked again.

 

Killian was still for a few moments, and then -after taking a couple of shaky breathes- he nodded slightly and Emma saw a glimpse of the old Killian flash in his friend’s eyes before the panic and brittle edge set back in. He ducked his head down and muttered something softly, something that Emma couldn't hear but deep down Emma _knew_ what his friend had said.

 

“What did you say?” Emma asked softly, but Killian shook his head.

 

“I can’t. _I can’t_ do this. I’m not strong enough. There are too many--I can’t--can’t--”

 

“Yes you can.” Emma cut in, and Killian shot him a look of disbelief.

 

“You’re stronger than you think, Killian. I know this is hard for you, but we all are here for you. We just want to help. Share your burden with us, let us help you carry it.” Emma told him, and their eyes locked. It was just them now, the others seemed to have faded into the background. Emma smiled a little and gave a small nod.

 

“I…….I……. was raped. I was tied down and helpless—I don't think I can recover from that…it’s too much…” Killian broke off with a cry, crossing his arms over his chest to conceal the shaking of his hands.

 

“Oh _Killian._ ”

 

Emma whispered, holding her breathe and hoping that Killian had the courage to continue. Emma knew it was what happened, but it still hurt all the to to hear Killian admit to it. David, who had been sitting there quietly, reached out to touch his shoulder, only to offer comfort but Killian twitched away, standing up and backing away from them. Emma straightened, was he going to run?

 

“Please, please don’t. I can’t-every touch reminds me of theirs and I can’t--once it starts I can’t make it stop. It wont stop.” Killian pleaded as his back hit the wall. Emma then stood up and walk slowly towards him.

 

“ Everything is going to be alright, Killian. We’re going to make it stop, okay? Just stay with us, honey. Come back to us, please?” she asked softly. Killian shuddered, but then nodded slightly.

 

“Okay.” he whispered softly, looking up at her and locking eyes were her. Emma reached out her hand, offering it to Killian. “Come on back to the couch, hun. You’re going to be fine. No one is going to hurt you, come on.” she said softly.

 

Killian hesitated for a moment, but then reached out and took her hand. Emma smiled a little, then she led Killian back over to the couches, where David, Snow, Regina and Henry were watching in silence. Emma motioned for David to scoot over on the couch, leaving them with plenty of room to sit down.

 

“We all love you so much, and we hate seeing you like this. We just want to help.” David said. Killian shuddered again and let go of Emma’s hand. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a breathe, trying to remain composed.

 

“Killian?” Emma asked, prompting him to keep going in a soft voice. Killian nodded and took a couple more deep breathes.

 

“Okay, umm…” Killian started and then stopping as his emotions took over. Emma suddenly felt like a horrible person, here they were, forcing their friend to be the center of attention, to be in the spotlight when he obviously wanted to blend back into the background. How was this a good idea? _He needs help, he needs to know we are there for him. Don't let him bear this burden alone._

“When I woke up, I had no idea where I was. It was all dark and I--I couldn't move much.” Killian started, and then he paused to take a breath. Emma took a breathe in, was Killian _finally_ telling them what happened? Was he finally comfortable enough to tell them what Luca’s men did?

 

“I couldn't remember how I had gotten there, it was terr--” he broke off again.

 

His eyes flashed up, and met Emma’s.

 

“Can I…can I tell? I dont know…want. I feel like I should…?” he asked, breaking off into silence.

 

“You can tell us, Killian. It’s okay. We are all here to support you. But we are not forcing you to tell us anything you don’t want to.” Emma said, hoping to make Killian feel more comfortable. He _knew_ Killian wanted, no…needed to tell them. But it was hard, maybe too hard to put into words.

 

“Okay.” Killian took in a shaky breath.

 

“I remember-I was told that I was being held for ransom by someone. I couldn't tell who it was, I was blindfolded. He told me that as long as I stayed quiet I wouldn't get hurt. So I did. “ he started, his voice starting off shy but then getting stronger as he went on.

 

“I couldn't move anyway. He didn't bother me much, it was the others. I think they were guarding the door. They--” Killian paused again as his voice cracked again.

 

“They were the ones that-that-that hurt-- _raped_ me. They said I was too _pretty_ to just be held for ransom. I tried to stop them, but I couldn't--I couldn't move or speak. My hands were tied, I couldn't--but I tried so hard but they wouldn't stop. They didn't stop. And it _hurt._ I didn't know it hurt that much, I didn't want it. I swear I never wanted it but I couldn't-couldn't-they wont stop--” Killian broke off with a sob, pulling his hands up and gripping his hair, the vibrating sense of mayhem returning to his voice as he started rocking back and forth on the couch.

 

Emma felt the room go blurry as she watched his friend struggle through the memories. She couldn't even imagine how terrified Killian must have been, how violated he must have felt after these men played their-their _games._

 

“It’s alright, Killian.” Emma said soothingly, her hands hovering over him, not quite touching.

 

 

“Killian, Killian listen to me. Focus on my voice. You’re going to be alright, I promise.” she said, and Killian looked up at her and started speaking in a soft, rapid voice;

 

“Em-Im sorry-I tried. I tried so hard to protect you from them. But I couldn't-I’m sorry-I’m sorry. I’m sorry”

 

“Shh, it’s okay. Killian honey please don’t do that. I’m going to touch your arm now, is that alright? I promise everything is going to be okay.” She said, and then she lightly touched Killian’s wrist, he flinched but let go of his hair.

 

The group paused for a moment, waiting for this to pass, for Killian to gain a sense of control again. He gripped his hands together, and breathed deeply for a few minutes, and then finally opened his eyes again.

 

“Killian, you with us?” David asked. Killian looked up around the group, eyes laying on each person. Emma gave him a small smile as their eyes connected, and Killian finally nodded.

 

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” he murmured softly.

 

“Thank you so much for telling us, hon. You did really well.” Emma said softly. She held out her hand, Killian hesitated for a moment, but then took it in his.

 

“They threatened you. I couldn't let them hurt you. I would not let them hurt you. You had to be kept safe--I---” he broke off again with a shudder and a flinch. Emma raised her free hand and reached for Killian’s shoulder, waiting for him to nod before she touched him.

 

“I love you so much, Killian.” she said, her voice thick with tears.

 

“I know.”

 

They stared at each other, cutting the world off. It was just the two of them now.

 

“Everything's going to be okay now, I think.” she whispered softly.

 

After a few more moments, Killian broke his gaze and once again looked up at the group.

 

“Thank you, for being here. I know it hasn't been easy.” he said, eyes darting between them.

 

“Of course. We just want you to get better.” Regina, who had been mostly silent for the intervention answered for them.

 

Killian nodded, “I do too.” he whispered.

 

“So now what?” Henry asked, bluntly. Emma couldn't help but chuckle. He almost forgot that Henry was even here. Leave it to Henry to awkwardly but efficiently move the intervention into the next step.

 

Emma straightened up in her seat. “Killian.” he said, and waited until Killian was looking at him to continue, “I am so sorry this happened to you, and we are all here for you. But I think-we think you should see somebody, Dr. Hopper is a very good trauma specialist named he can help you get through this. If you agree to see him, we promise that things will get better for you.” Emma stated, and then she held her breathe.

 

Killian nodded, “I just want to forget it.” he said softly and he shuddered again “I hate this, I want to go back to the way I was before but it’s so hard now--” he winced and gripped Emma’s hand.

 

“We can help with that, Killian. I promise, Dr. Hopper is trained to deal with this kind of trauma.”

 

Killian looked up, “Can he make the memories go away?” he asked

 

Emma sKillian his head, “No, only you can do that. But he can help, I promise.”

 

Killian nodded, “Alright. I’ll do it. I’ll go.”

 


	16. EPILOGUE

“Come on Killian, it’s time for your doctor’s appointment!” Emma shouted up the stairs, and then she checked her watch. They were supposed to be there in 15 minutes. She smiled slightly at Snow as she watched him from the kitchen. She had been nothing but supportive this entire time, and Emma really appreciated it. They all did. But Killian still refused to talk about what happened. That’s why today was so crucial; it was Killian’s first appointment with Dr. Hopper.

 

“Why? I’m not sick!” came Killian’s grumpy reply as he descended the stairs wearing his usual leather jacket and black pants. His hook shined in the morning light, and he gripped it with his hand for a moment before tucking it in his pocket.

 

“This isn’t that kind of appointment. Dr. Hopper is just someone who you can talk to, think about it that way.” Emma answered, jingling her car keys. Killian motioned for her to lead the way. Emma sighed, and then walked into the kitchen, bitter experience had taught her that Killian preferred not to have anybody behind him, were he couldn't see them. They still had a long way to go, but things had improved since the intervention. The biggest breakthrough though was that Killian was getting better at allowing them to touch him. He wasn’t flinching as much, and Emma took that as a good sign. Snow was pouring herself a cup of coffee as they entered the kitchen.

 

“Good morning! Getting ready to go?” She asked Killian with a smile.

 

Killian nodded, “Yeah. I guess so.”

 

“Nervous?” she asked, setting the coffee cup down. Killian shrugged and stuffed his hand in his pockets. Snow took a few steps towards him.

 

“You’re going to do great, I promise. Can I have a hug?” she asked him.

 

Killian smiled, “Sure.” and he embraced her. Emma smiled as Snow whispered something Emma couldn’t hear in Killian’s ear. Then she let him go and held his hands.

 

“We all love you, remember that okay?”

 

Killian nodded, and Emma was surprised to see that his eyes were glassy.

 

“Yeah. Love you guys too.” Killian said, his voice full of emotion. He sniffed a bit as Emma walked over to stand next to Snow.

 

“We’re all really proud of you, Killian. You know that, right?”

 

Killian nodded, and sniffed again. “Thanks.” he whispered, looking from Snow to Emma.

 

Emma smiled. Killian had gotten really far, he was finally opening up to them, trusting them enough to let them touch him. He still had panic attacks, but there were fewer, and now Emma knew how to help. They all helped and, if anything else this had brought them closer together.

 

 

Emma opened the drivers seat and got in, unlocking the doors so Killian could enter through the passenger side. She watched as Killian and Snow talked, he grabbed her hand in his as they said goodbye. Emma had never felt more grateful for anyone else in her life, Snow was an amazing friend, and mom..

 

Killian got in the car, and uncertain expression on his face. “Are you sure--I--I don’t know if I can do this.”

 

“It will all be fine, I promise. Put your seatbelt on” Emma said, starting the car. Killian rolled his eyes, but did so. They drove in silence for a few blocks, until--

 

“Why do we have to go again?” Killian asked

 

“I’m fine, I’ve been fine all week-”

 

“I know, I know Killian. It’s just we want you to be able to talk to someone, about what happened to you. Someone who understands. We want whats best for you.” Emma explained

 

“I know, I know. But Emma, I can’t even talk to you about it. How can I just open up to a complete stranger?”

 

“You _are_ able to talk about what happened. You're stronger than you think, Killian. I know it might be hard at first, but just give Dr. Hopper a shot. The first appointment is free anyway.” Emma answered with a little smile, very aware of Killian’s emerging brittle tone.

 

“I’ll try.” he whispered

 

There was a pause, and then “but what if I loose control again? I don’t want--I cant do that again.”

 

“That’s not going to happen. Unless Dr. Hopper turns out to be some other person from Camlot...” Emma said trailing off.

 

Killian laughed a little and Emma looked over at her friend before parking the car in the Doctor’s complex. Killian’s smile faded as he ran his fingers over his sleeves, where they both knew where the nearly healed cuts were.

 

“Emma, I--I wish it was something I could forget, but I-I can’t. Why cant I just forgot it and move on? I just want this all to be over with and in the past” he asked quietly.

 

Emma sighed, “It will be over soon, I promise. I think if you are able to tell someone what happened, someone who is able to break it down and understand it for you, if you are able to share this burden, you might be able to finally forget.” she said, opening his car door.

 

Killian smiled a little, “Thanks, Emma.” he unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car.

 

Killian checked in with the receptionist, and then went to sit in one of the chairs and Emma sat next to him. Killian’s breathing became shorter and sharper, and he clutched the chair handle to keep his hand from shaking.

 

“Killian? Killian are you alright?” Emma asked softly, Killian nodded but didn't say anything.

 

Dr. Hopper then stepped out of the office, followed by his dog Pongo.

 

“Killian Jones?” he asked, and Killian seemed to snap out of his trance. He stood up with a shaky breathe. Dr. hopper smiled and walked over to them.

 

“How are you all doing today?” he asked with a smile.

 

Killian nodded, “I’m alright.” he said, his voice betraying him as he battled for composure.

 

“A little nervous? That’s alright. This is just the first appointment. We’ll just be getting to know each other.” Dr. Hopper said

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Emma asked, Killian paused for a moment but then shook his head slightly.

 

“Alright.”

 

And Emma sat back down in the waiting room and let out a sigh of relief. Killian was finally getting the help he needed.. Everything seemed to be going better, now that everyone knew what was going on. Emma had been so scared that Killian wasnt going to find his way back. But he did and Emma was so happy that she hadn’t lost her friend. David and Snow had been a great help as well, making sure that the others were kept at a distance so they wouldn't ask prying questions and Granny was making sure that they all had plenty of food. Henry had deemed it upon himself to make every kind of chocolate pastry and bring it to them, claiming that “chocolate heals the soul” and keeping everybody occupied by reading from the storybook.

 

A little more than an hour later Killian re-emerged into the waiting room.

 

“How’d it go?” Emma asked

 

Killian shrugged, he looked a little burnt out. “Alright, I guess.” he paused, and then said “I think I want to make another appointment.”

 

Emma smiled as Dr. Hopper came out of the room, “Will this time work for next week?” he asked, and Killian nodded.

 

“See, that wasn't so bad.” Emma said with a smile as they pulled into her parent’s driveway. They were going to picked up David, Snow and little Neal for the picnic.

“It did feel nice to talk to someone. You were right, Emma. As always.” Killian answered. As they got out of the car, Snow came into the garage holding Neal in her carriage and gave them a wave.

 

“Hi! How’d it go?” She asked with a smile.

 

“It went really well, ready for a picnic?” Emma asked

 

Snow smiled ”Baby’s first picnic! We’re so excited.” she said happily and then snapped a picture of Jamie with her iphone.

 

Killian smiled at them, “That’s so cute.”

 

“Yeah. They’re the dorky kind of parents that document everything.” Emma answered as he reached over to help Snow with the back. Snow looked at Killian and smiled.

 

“You look good, Killian. Come here, give me a hug. We are so proud of you.” she said opening her free arm. Emma couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as she watched Killian walk over and confidently give her mom a hug. Just a few weeks ago he couldn’t stand to be touched by anybody, and here he was, giving out hugs.

 

“Ready to go?” Emma asked

 

“Yes!” came the enthusiastic reply.

 

Emma smiled as she climbed into the car.

 

Killian had been inside a raging storm and had managed to escape it. He was still strong, and he was slowly learning to trust again. The path ahead of them was long, there always was a shining bright light after the storm . Emma watched her friend has he stared out the window with clear, bright eyes and smiled. She turned to him, and took his good hand in hers. He looked over and gave her one of his dashing pirate smiles---a smile she hadn’t seen in almost a month.

 

Yes, everything was finally going well.

 

888

 

The end.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, and for the comments and kudos! I really appreciate it! I am so happy to be finally done with this story. I started in right when season 3 of OUAT ended, that was like.....2 years ago? It's done! yay!!!


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